Tired of my Thinking Brain

I saw the neurosurgeon this morning for my pre-op appointment, and my surgery is scheduled for October 8th. I’ve had to clear my calendar, but not before the surgery. I’m going to be pretty busy until then.

Then, right after I got back for the neurosurgeon’s office, I got a call from the hospital saying I need to go back down there on Friday, again! It’s for a pre-anesthesia check.

It’s all taking place at Eisenhower in Rancho Mirage, which is an hour drive each way. Apparently, it can’t be done over the phone because of possible blood tests, etc. What a pain in the ass. I also have to drive down to Palm Springs on Wednesday, see the ophthalmologist tomorrow morning, get a haircut on Thursday, go to a Courtney Barnett concert later Thursday, and do a studio visit with Kelly Witmer right after I get back from Eisenhower. Then, Kelly and I are turning right around to go to Melissa Morgan Fine Art in Palm Desert. I’m exhausted just thinking about all this. Oh, and I’m not done.

Next Monday night, I’ll find out about that cool thing I (didn’t) speak about previously, where I would have to retrieve some art from Craig Krull and deliver it to Downtown LA. I won’t be able to do such a thing, so I’m going to have to send Hannah out there for me. While she’s there at the gallery, I’ll have her pick up a bunch more pieces to show soon-ish at Melissa Morgan. I don’t have to be ready for that in October, like I was considering. I can do it when I’m all healed. But if I’m sending Hannah out there to pick up one or two pieces for this other thing I can’t yet talk about, then I might as well have her bring back more pieces to show at Melissa Morgan after I’ve recovered in a month or two (hopefully not more than two).

Next Tuesday, I co-host a queer artists collective meeting on Zoom. I’m the one with the paid Zoom account, so I have to do that even though it’s the day before the surgery. I assume I’ll be doing laundry and packing that day.

Needles to say, I don’t know how much time I’ll have to actually paint. I’ve been working hard the last few days on two of the eight pieces. I still haven’t transferred the watercolor drawings because my drafting table is being taken up by a 24 x 30-inch oil painting. I was hoping to finish part of that today. I will try, but I’m exceedingly tired already. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Woe is me.

Luckily, the paint has been drying rather quickly on the birch panels, and that’s because I bought ones that are pre-gessoed with clear gesso, and I won’t be doing that again in the future. I usually seal panels myself with a shellac mixture: seal, sand, seal, sand, etc. (five times), and they come out silky-smooth. However, I noticed that this “clear gesso” doesn’t quite cut it. It had a somewhat rough, kinda raw finish to it, so I tried to sand one down and use my mixture. But that nearly ruined the panel. I have to leave them as-is. , and it’s soaking up the paint pretty fast. That’s not a bad thing, I just prefer the look of the slicker, smoother surface.

I’d snap a picture of the larger one on my table, but I should probably just stop typing and go work on it before I fall asleep.

6 thoughts on “Tired of my Thinking Brain

  1. Catherine L. Ruane September 29, 2025 / 12:42 pm

    I’m sure Ayin that you will be glad when this surgery is over and behind you. So much to do before hand but I just wanted to say you are in my heart as you go through this. Sending lots of healing energy to carry you to full recovery.

    • Ayin Es September 29, 2025 / 3:02 pm

      Awww, thank you so much Catherine. That is so thoughtful of you. I think you’re right that it will be so much better after it’s all over. Thank you of thinking about me and my health! LOVE!

  2. Steph September 30, 2025 / 11:05 am

    Good luck with the surgery – I hope everything goes about as smoothly as one can hope for.

    • Ayin Es October 1, 2025 / 4:06 am

      Thank you, Steph. Yes, fingers crossed. ❤️

  3. Steve September 30, 2025 / 12:04 pm

    Standing with you, Ayin, and sending supportive and healing thoughts for a 100% successful surgery.

    • Ayin Es October 1, 2025 / 4:07 am

      Thank you, Steve. I appreciate that (very much).

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