I sent in my little book to be printed almost a week ago. The proof was finished fast, but now it’s lost somewhere in Pennsylvania. According to the tracking, it’s been in York for over 4 days. That’s a big bummer. By the time I get it, approve it, and print 30+ copies, I feel like my plans for the book will be too late for both the Kickstarter and my show.
On Wednesday, I spent most of the day at urgent care trying to get antibiotics for a UTI. What is with the health care system? I’m not female, but I grew up that way, and we all know when we definitely have a UTI. However, someone recently told me that, depending on the results of your pee test, the antibiotics prescribed can differ. Hopefully, I’m on the right one.
In any case, both of the above issues had me kind of losing my mind. Lately (or since my surgery), I’ve been an emotional, deregulated mess. I have a super short fuse and wind up raging out for hours. And I mean, not like regular getting mad. It’s severe, and it’s not really like me to be so upset out of proportion to the situation (or at least, not always).
Speaking of all this, I felt like I was entirely gaslit by my neurosurgeons. They told me I would be basically back to “normal” in about 12 weeks! Many months later, and after both physical therapy and neurocognitive rehab, I felt like I wasn’t getting much better. Although now I do.
About a month ago, I wrote to the doctors via the portal about how I’ve been suffering from horrible memory and confusion. I also mentioned how I am still unsteady and dizzy.
My surgeon responded that I “shouldn’t” be experiencing any of that from what they did to my brain. What? It was so dismissive, especially because he originally told me about the risks of the surgery, like possibly not being able to feel my legs, and more. Now he tells me I shouldn’t be feeling these things?
A few weeks after that, I spoke with his PA by phone about my most recent CTA scan (which was normal). When I mentioned the trouble I was having otherwise, she told me the same thing the neurosurgeon did. She also said it could be early-onset dementia!
I was so freaked out to hear that, I tried to stop thinking about it because I wouldn’t know anything about brains; I’m not an expert. So was I imagining it all?
Then, I pulled out my medical papers to specifically find out about the aneurysm I had/have, what they did in there, where it was located in my big jughead-skull, and what parts of the brain manage what types of things.
And so here’s a bunch of medical jargon for ya: the aneurysm is located on my pericallosal artery, AKA the anterior cerebral artery. That thing runs directly alongside the corpus callosum and supplies the cingulate cortex. The cingulate cortex is heavily involved in emotional regulation, impulse control, and attention. It also supplies parts of the frontal lobe, which is associated with attention, short-term memory, planning, and motivation, among other things.
Apparently, surgical intervention in that area of the brain, especially a bilateral craniotomy, as I had, can significantly affect mood, irritability, balance, and memory.
WTF!?
If I wasn’t pissed off before, now I’m beyond fuming. Or, actually, finding this out made me feel better somehow. So all this hubbub wasn’t in my head after all. I mean, it was in my head, duh! Errrf!
Gotta love the accountability of doctors. And gotta love all the medical lawyers.