Art and Madness, Jews and Sadness

Let’s see, what the hell have I been doin’ that I can’t write a measly blog post for the last several days? And how can I be tired?

I know I have been painting. I am nearly done with number 6, which is now called, In Training.


Took a while. Now I have to let that yellow oil paint dry before I can go back in there with the black and tighten up my mistakes. There were plenty.

You saw the black one already (King of This, AKA Number 4), so I can’t use that one as an excuse.  Number 5, Rabbi Says, will take the longest time of all because I am painting around words, but I do not think I have even shown the preliminary drawing for that one – or anything about that one yet. Okay, so here it is so far. It doesn’t look like much yet:


So far I have done the black, the white and the purple. It really doesn’t look very spectacular does it? I have a kind of half sketch/half Photoshop deal. I’ll pull that in…


That gives a better idea, I mean, without the painterly feel, because I lay the paint on pretty thick. You should see my art in person sometime.

I went through a lot of hemming and hawing with this fucking thing too. The cartoony rabbi, should he be there or not? Should he be there like that or not? I tried numerous alternatives. The rabbi was represented differently: as a black hat on a stick, as a hei, a hei with a hat, with and without peyos (the little curly hairs on the sides of, usually, an Orthodox Jewish man’s head), a more “proper” cartoon – that one would consider more “respectful” of the rabbi, yet it’s not about The Rabbi in particular exactly, and it’s not about Judaism either!

However, I am referring to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein. THE Reb Moshe (1895-1986). Descendant of writers of the Talmud, Father of North American Jewish Law and blah blah blah…

Now, I have a big problem with authority on anything. That’s just how I am. But part of being Jewish is to question, to study, to learn, and to be a scholar as much as possible. Reb Moshe would have told us that. Even the meaning of Israel, which Jacob was renamed for, is “one who wrestles with God.” It is supposed to be a struggle. So I chose to leave the funny looking rabbi the way he was! And still, I struggle with it.

He is spouting out part of an actual quote of Rabbi Feinstein’s, which says, “There are many times when a person feels that he cannot move forward because a dark cloud hangs over him. One should know, however, that nothing can stop him! Sometimes one can make a path through the cloud…”

Pretty nice, eh? Ya, I liked it.

Now, likewise, I had pause with the wheels on In Training

still on the cartoony thing, stay with me…

I thought to my self, self, should I put wheels on this composition? Should I leave it be? Without them, it’s more of a “grown up” work of art. Or is it design? Shit, I sure as hell don’t want it to be that! I do think putting wheels on it would be pretty funny. But then, does that make my work a joke? Maybe all my work is a fucking joke! Uh oh. It will make it “cute.” There’s that “cute” thing again. Run away-run away! …but you can’t run away from your self…

Okay, so. I can’t control it if someone else thinks my work is “cute.” Let em. I’m quite serious – well, I mean, about my art. I am very serious about my art actually. Can’t you people see that? As far as making it a bit funny, well, I can’t help it. If I could be a comedian, I’d do it. But alas, I don’t think even I am that depressed.

Ohhhh, bad stab and my comic pals. I apologize. But they get paid about as much as I do, and they are far more talented.

Anyhow, Funny-looking rabbi with one leg and sharp teeth, kooky wheels on my figure 8 design, little feet on most everything else, and I wonder why I can’t afford gas.



4 thoughts on “Art and Madness, Jews and Sadness

  1. Scarlett April 29, 2013 / 8:04 pm

    Carol, there’s a “joke” (not cool) and then there’s “Satire” – (very cool). People who think it’s a joke probably have no understanding of satire 🙂

    • Carol Es April 29, 2013 / 8:45 pm

      Yup. You’re right. I was just doing that stupid thing again where I worry about what other people think, but you know – the older I get, the less I care. And that’s no joke. That’s just sheer bliss. Probably the best thing about getting older. I can’t think of too many other perks though.

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