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Post on April 15th From Google+

April 17, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

My Aunt Susie died today. She was my mom’s only sibling – her little sister. She would have been 71 this year. It’s crazy how there was a little bit of longevity for the women in my family (at least early eighties), and they both died before they were 72. What’s in store for me, I wonder?

Susan was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer about a year ago. She went through five rounds of chemo and miraculously won. She was in remission for a few months.

Just a few months

Then it mastisized all over her brain, and progressed rapidly, yet, at the same time, slowly. I don’t know which it was. All I know is that the last month has been a blur. She’s been confused. She’s been totally lucid. She’s been in denial. And she’s been lovely, as usual.

Not four months ago, her only daughter, Lisa, passed away at 40. She literally JUST given birth to a sweet baby boy named Sammy. So Susie took on Sammy, as well as Lisa’s other child, (who just turned 10), Damon. Damon also has autism by the way.

I suppose I should also mention that Damon and Sammy’s father could not live without Lisa – took her death pretty hard – and a week before my aunt collapsed and entered hospice, he also died.

And so today, Damon and Sammy, over the past four months, have lost Mom, Dad, and Nana – who was really their entire world. They are currently in the Alabama (Tuscaloosa) foster care system.

Susie has been taking care of Damon since he was born. She actually adopted him from the get-go, and Sammy too was/is (I don’t know – WAS) in her legal guardianship as well. My cousin and her husband, though the nicest people you’ve probably have ever met, struggled with addiction for many years. Luckily, Lisa stayed clean throughout her pregnancy with Sammy. He is a strong, healthy boy – and honestly, he’s not going to remember much of what has happened over the last few months. Anyway – they were never going to get legal custody of either kid because of their antics.

Now Damon… He’s the cutest kid. Everybody says that about their own family, but I swear, spend five minutes with him and you’ll be laughing and crying at the same time because he’s so fucking, hysterically cute!

That poor kid, Jesus Christ!

Well, can you believe this? My brother is going to adopt these boys.

It’s going to take a little bit of time because the laws are whack, and bureaucracy is like a bag of shit on fire under your nose, but everything is going as fast as humanly possible, and we should have these kids here within three months, maybe sooner.

With all the death we (my brother and I) have experienced over the past few years, finally something beautiful comes with it.

#cancersucks #adoption #death #autism

And it Was Good!

April 12, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

Can you believe it? I can’t! I am out of my mind with happiness, excitement flabbergastion, butterflies, gratitude, and more gratitude!!!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

THANK YOU!

And guess what?

I just received a grant for $1000 from the National Arts and Disability Center to help me with the painting leg of my project for when I get back from the desert!

I am blessed all kinda ways!

So I’m going to get right to telling you what comes next. Why wait? I’m excited to reveal it all, aren’t you excited to hear it? We are all part of this thing now, so I figured you’d be interested.

This project officially starts RIGHT NOW! That’s right. The wheels and cogs have been a-turnin’ in my mind throughout the last 30 days during the campaign, and I can’t keep my ideas contained any longer! I want to get to work. I want to keep you abreast. I want you along for the ride.

Now, Kickstarter puts a little hold on the money before it doles it out, but since I have had an Amazon Payments Account for a long time, I think I may not have to wait as long. I will look into that. In the meantime, I will be begin working on everyone’s rewards as soon as humanly possible. Because of the nature of some of the rewards, some of you will be receiving certain ones before others, but don’t worry: ALL WILL BE FULFILLED!

Many of you will begin receiving messages from me about your preferences on some of your rewards, as certain ones, like the À la Dan Kabbalah letterpress prints, allow for the choice of a Hebrew letter. Other rewards will require you sending me an image of the nice person I’m doing a portrait of. Stuff like that. I will be getting to these things over the next week.

I also wanted to let you in on the project website I have been building at ExodusJoshuaTree.com. While it is still a work in progress, I finally have it up “live” so that there is a living “hub” for the project itself. You will also find the official blog on the site where I will be posting on frequently, and especially all the days throughout my stay in Joshua Tree, since the site is mainly for (or begins in) the FIRST leg of my entire project: An Exodus in Joshua Tree.

Also in the news, I will be going to Joshua Tree right away!!! That’s right, I do not waste any time, plus the best time to go is now in the spring while everything is blooming! If all goes as planned, I will be there as soon as the end of this month!

To some up for now, some of you might have noticed that I put up an F.A.Q. at the bottom of the project description – just hours before it ended. I did this because I had been questioned about the title the project a number of times (mostly in person) and would have to explain it all to people one at a time. I figured if people were asking me, then other people must be wondering, so now it’s in writing. So I’m including it in this message, for yucks.

Why did you call this project: “An Exodus in Joshua Tree” if you are going there?

Well, I didn’t foresee this title being complex to others’ ears on the day I created it. All I can say is that it made sense in my head in the moment, and here is why:

I feel that I am about to break out of the shackles of the kind of art-making that I had been doing for so many years.

Basically, over the last year, I’ve gained the tools I need. Now I’m going out from my studio, from Los Angeles, from my fears, from my crutches, my modus operandi, TO Joshua Tree, to wander the desert, to find my new home – within myself, within my art.

That is the exodus.

Thank you all for reading, and thank you ALL for everything!

Stay tuned, and visit the blog often at ExodusJoshuaTree.com/blog

The Home Stretch: 6 Days Left!

April 5, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

——-> AN EXODUS IN JOSHUA TREE <——–

Alrighty Folks! Here we are at the final home stretch of this thing.

I am so unbelievably delighted that we’ve come this far already. Really – I couldn’t be happier to have reached my goal — and then some! I will even be able to pay the Kickstarter Fees now! So a HUGE thanks to all that have contributed so far. Thank you.

This will be the second to the last update – as far as the fundraising campaign leg goes. I will be sending out one more in a week from today – Saturday morning. That update will have a good deal of information about what comes next, because, officially, that’s when my project will start.

Yeah, I know. I don’t waste any time! I like to dive right into things. It’s because I can’t wait to get to work!

In the meantime: I am not finished fundraising!

There are SIX MORE DAYS to contribute! So, it’s time for me to get annoying!

I want you to reach deep, s p r e a d the word, tell your friends and family, share, share share on your social media networks, and call the Pope!

Please help me make this Kickstarter like one of those crazy, world-famous ones that break the glass ceiling in the last moments of its existence. Let’s at least try.

In return, I promise you very unique rewards, and a very thought-provoking, engaging (and pretty) solo exhibition next spring at Shulamit Gallery.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Carol Es

AN EXODUS IN JOSHUA TREE

Kickstarter Funded! — Almost Officially!

March 28, 2014March 28, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

(Reposted from the Exodus Project Site)

We made it boys and girls!!!

Dan is even shouting most of the colors he can shout in! I think that means he’s happy. Well, I’m happy.

Today, thanks to Shula, the owner of Shulamit Gallery, we were able to push the funding over our goal. She pledged $2K because she rocks however!, not just thanks to her, but each and every contribution made so far! It’s just as difficult, if not more in some cases for others to pony up money — and do not think that eludes me, it does NOT! It was a LOT of work to get to that 67% mark!

But, I had no idea that I’d be coming back here less than a day later to make such an announcement, and we STILL have 14 days left to go!

Now I have to get to work. I have to write that 10 Commandments book, I have to find those old Joshua Tree postcards. I just have some work to do and I better start early, if I can, with no money in hand. We’ll see what I can get accomplished anyway.

Thank you, everyone! Thank you thank you thank you!

From a Distance

March 17, 2014March 17, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

So the past few days I’ve been on the fence – do I go to Tuscaloosa? Do I not?. I’m confused.

As it stands now, there’s quite a few people coming in to see my Aunt Susie at the hospice facility. It sounds like a wonderful place.

I don’t know, if you’re wondering why I haven’t been writing in my blog – especially since I have this great Kickstarter Campaign happening, it’s because I really don’t know what to say at the moment. It doesn’t mean I’m not excited about my project. I totally am! I’m just also dealing with this thing with my aunt too, and I don’t feel much like writing to anybody, if that makes sense.

You know when you just want to be alone with your thoughts? I’m usually so up for sharing mine, but just not right now. Not about what I’m feeling right now. Not tonight, in this moment.

Lately, I have been just diving, no, burying myself in tasks so I don’t have to think about it. I built this rock garden over the last week in my backyard:

It looks better from above:

Don’t be too impressed. I had help:

But between you and me – and don’t tell her this – she really wasn’t much help at all. In fact, there were times she even managed to slow down the entire operation! The job took about a week. Good thing I wasn’t on it every day. It was just something I was doing to calm my nerves, and it super worked. I just don’t have the room in my yard to keep building rock gardens.

Whatever the case, when I was finished with this one, I felt very accomplished, even though I kept chipping away at this thing in my pajamas, so please excuse how frumpily floppy I appear here.

I’ve also been building the ExodusJoshuaTree.com website, but I can’t show that to you yet. It’s pretty simple and straight forward, and really not much to it (now that I’m finally coding it), but it just took a long time to design it. I got picky, then not so picky, got some opinions, got a little sad, tried again, liked it better, started hating it, started over again, changed it a lot, then changed it a little, started seeing monkeys… You know. The usual.

So, I’m still tweaking it a little …I think.

My Kickstarter is 36% funded with about 25 days to go! Pretty good, eh? Although, I was getting pledges like mad the first couple days, and now, none the last couple days. NONE! Not even a pledge for a postcard. What’s up? What do I need to do?

First of all, I probably need to post MUCH better pictures of myself. Okay, okay, I will! I promise! I will look around for some and I will find some fashion shots that will blow your socks off. Will that do it? I’ll try it.