Okay, so for the last few days I’ve been painting in the studio, totally skipping out on my computer. I wake up, have my coffee, do a very quick check for important emails, put on my jeans and a t-shirt and run out the door before I get caught up in something that will inevitably distract me from getting my ass in gear. It’s been good – I am working on I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck/fear-facing stuff, mainly a 36 x 48 inch canvas that is not too terrible.

When I come home, I eat and have been working on my City of LA Individual Artist Grant Application – a very hard grant to win, but I try every year nonetheless. I am a little worried about my all-too-honest project narrative this time though. I blatantly state I will be working on a body of terrible art. Hahaha! But I do explain it so it’s not just left at that. Every day I have been trying to recommit myself to making terrible work so that I can just bust through my little inner rut/boredom/depression about my art. And it’s working.

Yesterday, I had a very wonderful visitor come to my studio: Hendrik Stooker, the co-founder of the Arroyo Arts Collective and retired, senior curator at the Occidental College Art Gallery. It was the first time I have met him in person, and truly loved him right off the bat. I am sort of glad when he left though because I really could have talked to him all night long. He was also very encouraging and full of ideas about how I can sell more art, but I fear I disappointed him with my pessimism and general disinterest in selling anything. For the Discovery Tour however, I do plan on putting out my least expensive work, like small paintings and drawings. I’ll tack them all over the place for November 22nd like it’s some kind of last-chance bake sale. Honestly though, I think people on the tour will be looking for art on the cheap and I am probably not their greatest bet. But I am going to make my best effort and put out as much work under $400 as possible. I will even slash my prices on my books and a few other tidbits. Whatever it takes to help make the day successful.

Last 2nd Saturday went well. No sales of course, but a ton of people came through. All my cookies and veggies were gone before 8:00, and all my bottled water went to the bike-riding looky-loos. I will be skipping next month’s 2nd Saturday NELA artwalk so that I may focus all my prep and promotion to the Discover Tour.

Tomorrow I have a studio visit from my gallery director, Tressa Williams. She started at George Billis LA not too long ago and I will be meeting her in person for the first time as well. She is picking art for the Miami fair and I’m really nervous about not having any – or having to “sacrifice” some pieces set aside for my Houston show, but I have to think about number of eyes with checkbooks, and more of those will be in Miami than at my show in Houston. It’s a no brainer. She can take whatever she likes tomorrow (or today rather, it’s already 12:30 AM). I better git.

5 thoughts on “Fear-facing

  1. robin October 21, 2009 / 6:01 am

    i love seeing this work in situ and also so pleased to hear you’re deconstructing everything and embracing the ‘terrible’ which, inevitably, will lead to brilliance. it really does break old habits…

  2. justine October 21, 2009 / 7:46 am

    carol, would you ever consider doing high-quality giclee prints of your work? limited edition, signed giclees have been a great way for us to affordably collect really amazing art that doesn’t look like a bunch of ‘posters’.

  3. carol es October 21, 2009 / 8:27 am

    I have made a few of those. Some are listed here. So YES, I would consider it. 🙂

  4. mjp October 21, 2009 / 11:35 am

    Out of Reach is awesome and has to be seen in person to be appreciated. But the Blogger Killings will make me laugh for as long as I live.

  5. justine October 21, 2009 / 7:52 pm

    haha i’m such a spazz! should have looked more closely at your site… gotta keep the temptations to spend at bay, though 😉

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