Got my referral to the neurosurgeon/neurointervention-thing. I have a referral for both doctors, but one of them has a dual specialty, so I’d rather go with him. He’s in Rancho Mirage, which is about an hour away. The other guy is in Riverside (about an hour away in the other direction). I don’t know if it matters which direction I go, but I’d rather hit two birds with one stone.

That all sounds simple enough, but it turns out that it takes a week for the doctor to review my referral before I can get an appointment! I can’t tell you how frustrating all this is. So, I’m just waiting for a call from them in order to get a stupid appointment. And who knows how soon I’ll be able to get in? Fucking hell.

I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to get riled up, frustrated, angry, or anything that will raise my blood pressure right now. I kinda don’t care though. I feel extremely defeated when it comes to waiting for healthcare. In fact, I’ve been waiting to hear back from my primary care doc as well. I left messages yesterday morning to get some antibiotics because, lucky me, I have a urinary track infection! I’m suffering with that for some days now. I also think it’s totally fucked up that we have to get prescriptions for antibiotics in the first place.

My back procedure on Monday went fine and well, and I’m recovering well from that. I’d really like to get back to painting, but I probably should give it another day. Will I? I’m not so sure since I’m kinda climbing the walls here. I was planning on at least sealing a wood panel. If I can get that done today, I can have something to paint tomorrow. I’m still waiting for sections to dry on two others. they are taking their sweet time, I’ll tell you. These are the two I’m waiting for:

This one is a 30 x 24-inch oil on canvas, and the next I’ve already posted before. It’s a 20 x 16-inch self-portrait of me when I was in kindergarten.

I didn’t even think I was painting all that thick, but they are both still very wet. I’ve already accidentally put fingerprints on the top one. Not good. But no use crying over wet paint.

I’d like to get the background colors laid on the self-portrait. It will look a bit like this:

Then I have plans to slop it up. This seems to always be my plan and I have a hard time with following through. I’m always trying to loosen up more. Maybe I do a bit at each attempt, but it’s never enough to my liking. I still like how things turn out when I’m a little controlling, but I have an idea in my head to be super loose and it just never happens. It’s like having a war within myself. But, ya know, that’s better than actual war any day.