Sleepy Working Weekend

I’ve been tired. Having a hard time getting enough sleep, so my work schedule has been going in spurts whenever I get a good dose of caffeine in me.

I have been changing too. Inside, I’m feeling a change. I’m about to turn 40. I think I’m finally putting aside a lot of baggage and issues, like caring what people think. That’s a big one, but it’s been like a little handbag and not the anvil case it has been.

Getting back into the swing of painting again, I’m starting to stress less about what to create, and rather letting myself create. I think this has a lot to do with trusting myself and giving the id permission to indulge, with little need for control.

Today I’m working on this green piece… Get it? Greenpeace?? Okay, maybe that was a stupid joke. I’m working on what seems to be a greenish colored canvas. (34″ square) It’s turning green/gold/brown/black/white. I’m just letting myself paint without too much in mind but a skeleton of an idea. It started with green drippings over the letter Pei, a car crash and some floating heads. Go figure.

I also have been fucking around with what seems to be some kind of doll. It’s so much easier to sit, relax, and sew than it is to hold up my arms and paint for long periods. I am hovering between doing both, while thinking about what to do with my 2-dollar bill.

2 thoughts on “Sleepy Working Weekend

  1. headwrapper June 19, 2008 / 11:50 pm

    Ah-ha, I see a little soapbox to climb up on and spew forth.

    Here’s to burying the corpse of caring what other people think once and for all. FUCK EM!

    I always do my best work when I close myself off to the rest of the world and their limited viewpoints and asinine opinions.
    The powerful Id energy knows better than a shattered ego still trying desperately to please everyone else, trying to play Santa –bringing each one the gift suited just for them. Fuck that!

    Hey Carol, I like those cars, ooops, but I guess you don’t care. Right?

    And that’s a good thing.

    Have a great summer.

  2. carol es June 20, 2008 / 9:52 am

    Thanks Reuben! yeah, “fuck em!” I’m trying to reinstate it daily and I think it’s working. Of course, every artists and human just wants to be loved, but that is much different that assuming everyone was thinking negative shit about me and having to juggle all kinds of pleasing antidotes in order to change all their minds. Exhausting! I have better fish to fry.

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