So, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been deep into doing the SEO on my website. It’s been taking up the bulk of my time, which is saving my life, even though it’s burning me out. But I’ve been emotionally down, and I need to wrap my mind around something.

As I’ve pointed out many times, my website runs off of a database. Each artwork contains a bunch of data, not just the title, year, medium, and size. There’s a lot you don’t see. On the backend is the work number (I’m almost to 1,000 pieces–not including drawings). It also includes the type of work it is. Is it a painting, work on paper, sculpture, or? It details which series it belongs to if any. I fill out many other fields, like the name of the image itself, and the detail. There’s a radio button for whether it’s visible on the site, a field for where I made it, where it’s located, and how much it costs. I keep track of who bought it, when I sold it, and all the notes I might have (where it has shown or what else I need to remember about it, etc.).

At last, there is a short description of each piece. While I write in these descriptions as I create each artwork, I have to fill in the backlog over time. There are hundreds of them. It’s been taking a long fucking time. Now I have about 350 left. And those are just for the visible pieces. There are many pieces that I never took pictures of, unfortunately, especially early on. If only I had the foresight.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to lose weight, and I’ve lost 10 pounds so far in the last two months. It’s not a lot, considering how much I have to lose, but it’s something. A little at a time, they say, or it could all come back and then some. That has already happened to me before. I don’t want it happening again, or I don’t know what I will do.

I take thirteen medications, and half of them cause weight gain, so I have a lot going against me. It hasn’t been easy, nor is exercise. I can walk past a few houses on my block. That’s about it, for now.

The class I’m taking (DBT) has a lot of homework, and I have been doing all of it. I’ve been keeping it up and doing well with it, but haven’t gained a ton of strength as far as keeping my flooding emotions in check. I’m learning some skills, though. Maybe it’s getting better. Can I ever give myself a break? Well, I am learning not to judge myself as much. That’s something.