I often have dreams about places I’ve lived, studios I’ve had. They are mixed up in my head and sort of blended together, and I’m usually moving in the dream. Sometimes I am in the middle of the two places, a lot of times Michael and I are splitting up. I suppose we dream about what we fear the most. Sometimes we are just separated because someone has to stay in one of the houses while in transition. Somebody has to stay and paint the new place, spackle the holes in the old place — something like that.
Anyway, all this cleaning out the studio, and thinking about how to fit everything in some future home had me thinking I guess – had me dreaming, and worrying – about transitions.
I am getting ready for my big trip and it is going to be all about transition. It’s actually starting to scare me a little. Sometimes when I’m scared of something, I look it up in the dictionary. Defining it usually takes the “heavy” significance out of it for me. It gives me a sense of control or something, but this time it more or less scared the shit out of me more!
[tran-zish–uh n, –sish-]
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another;change: the transition from adolescence to adulthood.
Yup! That about sums it up! That’s what the plan is. That’s exactly what I was setting out to do.
So why would I get cold feet?
Okay, it’s not cold feet. Believe me, I am excited and I am so looking forward to it. I’m just a little scared. Mostly… curious.
I think I love that the word “passage” is in the definition. Yeah. I like it. Passage… Like I will come out of this a new artist, a new person. Hopefully, an improved one. But we’ll see. You know, that’s all about confidence? It really is. Because there’s no such thing as being a “good” artist. Not really.
In other news, I have a few pictures of how Monographie is looking. See?
They are not the greatest photos on Earth, but it’s a little peek for you. At least I’m giving you something! Jeez, stop complaining.
Here’s the front:
And the back. (Clever, eh?)
The inside is even better! (Horn tootin’!)