Since I’ve made this update on the Exodus Project blog, I don’t have much in the way of imagery, only in the way of random thoughts – but progress nonetheless.
I’m still working on Space Rabbit, and here it is as of Wednesday. (I didn’t work at all yesterday.)
Why is it called Space Rabbit? There is no rabbit in this painting. Is there? No. No, there’s isn’t. Don’t try to find one. I didn’t camouflage one in there or anything, although, it’s getting so busy, I suppose I could have. I suppose I still could.
Believe it or not, these crazy landscapes originate from actual locations. They don’t look anything like those locations by the time I get finished with them, but they start somewhere in real life (irl for you texters; I’m not so lazy I can’t type that out).
For instance, The Landscape:
originally comes from the view from the top of the fork at Doggie Trail in Joshua Tree looking northeast.
Space Rabbit begins at a five-acre ranch in Landers (which is Joshua Tree adjacent) that I spent some time at in 2008.
My next one is a secret. If it goes well, I’m going to do a few more from the same location and will be making a series within a series. That’s if it goes well. I have no idea. I’m pretty curious and I’m really trying not to have high hopes like I did with the first landscape.
I am trying to learn to be more accepting of the way I paint. It is not easy.
I am also trying to regain my trust in myself. I say regain because I know I had it before. I just haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly when or how I lost it.
Maybe you can help me.
Most of the time when I write in this here bloggie, I never have anything planned out. I just hit the tab to make a new post and start typing.
I’m really just winging it. The thoughts just come out while I am typing along and I don’t have too many filters (as you may have noticed), except for when I go back and reread what I just typed and start fixing my mistakes, of which there are plenty!
The point is, I wind up working a lot of my issues out right here and now – right in the moment – just typing along on the keyboard – before your very eyes. You kind of get to watch it unfold, so you see, you really do help me.
So where was I?
Oh yes, my trust in myself. I lost it somewhere, but where? I’m trying to remember when I really last had it super intact, and when I really did not, so that maybe I can pinpoint when when it was assaulted. When it fell away. What the culprit was exactly.
I’d say when I was working on the Dan series, I was definitely sure of myself. I trusted in what I was able to do. I trusted my hand. I didn’t second guess myself. I didn’t have a ton of anxiety – about the work, that is. I always have plenty of anxiety about something. I just did not have it about my art.
Somewhere between that time and the time I was …Wait. No. I was going to pinpoint an area of paintings when I was having a really rough time. …Man, that was terrible, but that couldn’t have been long-lived because it wasn’t long after that when I finished up a collection called This and I was probably trusting myself more than ever. So it’s been more recent than Dan.
So what’s happened since This?
I am drawing a blank right now and I will have to get back to you on this one.
Don’t let me forget though!