Author: Ayin Es

What’s new in the rain?

Ayin Es2 Comments

It’s been raining like small forest creatures here. Not that we don’t need it. It makes everything green and pretty and stops me from moving to Portland. But being an LA native, I am very cold-sensitive and my old bones can’t take the chill all too well. I need a knitted afghan on my knees like an old lady, which makes me want to complain in my rocking chair and tell stories about what it was like before the war.

I had a productive weekend nonetheless. fellow blogger Anna Conti came down from San Francisco with 3 of her friends and came to me studio for a visit on Saturday. I was honored to be one of their many art stops along their weekend venture. They were all so nice and gracious, they would not even except any of the Hanson’s sodas I offered. I wound up over chatting a bit (I tend to do that when I feel nervous — overcompensating for fear of being too shy and quiet).  I probably just came off “normal” for all I know, but through it all I really enjoyed their visit very much. Luckily, Saturday was a nice day without rain, so I’m sure they were able to see a lot. They are getting jacked on their way back home today with this storm, but being from SF, I’m sure they are well used to it.

Here’s a pic of Anna and her friends in my studio on Saturday:

I also created a new page on my site with some pictures of my studio. You can only get to this page through THIS LINK until I incorporate somewhere else on my site somehow.

In other news, I’ve been working on this new painting of gumball machines. It’s 40 x 60 inches in size, and it’s coming together slowly, but surely:

I finally finished this one about a week ago, but I just now posted it on my site:

“I Waited For You,” 2010. Oil, paper, pencil and embroidery on canvas. 36×36 inches (detail).

When Anna came to visit, I was just telling her about how I was waiting to hear back from the Women’s Studio Workshop on my proposal for a book residency I had applied for. Low and behold my answer was waiting for me when I got home on Saturday. I did not get it. There were 80 applicants and only 2 slots. I know the competition was steep, and maybe a long shot, but I really thought my proposal was strong and I guess my hopes were a little too high because I was seriously bummed when I got the news. The day before, the results for the West Prize came through and I did not get that either, but I was not expecting to win that one at all, so I was not surprised or sad about that one. The winners are posted and they are all very compelling and I can see why I probably wasn’t even in the running.

Just as sad is that Art Clokey died recently. I don’t know what I can say about him that isn’t out there since he’s passed away, but he was a major inspiration for me and will be missed and honored in my heart forever.

If you’ve got a heart, then Gumby’s a part of you.

Clever Art, Timeless?

Ayin Es4 Comments

Hi everybody. I feel like I haven’t written in this blog about anything truly art-related in a long time. I don’t know why that is exactly. A mixture of depression/hibernation and fear, or perhaps indifference, laziness, forgetfulness and lack of passion. My passion has been redirected, rather. I used to bring my ideas out on my blog a lot. That’s what it was for. I’d keep track of my ideas and the art world in general. I had a lot of readers too. Now, not so much. I also had the feed piping through my Facebook page and it took me forever to figure out how to stop that. I found it just censored everything I really wanted to say, or I’d cringe after every blog entry, realizing it was feeding its way through Facebook. I don’t know why; it just made me throw up a little. Perhaps because I am too personal here and the mix of people of Facebook are just not exactly the right mix. I think if someone wants to read this blog, they should just come here and read it. They can read every word, or they can skim it. They can comment, disagree, laugh it off, shrug, roll their eyes, relate, kill time, or whatever they want and I don’t need to know who they are for the most part.

Anyway, today I was just checking in on the West Collection/Prize entrants, because I am one of them. They are going to post the 10 winners at the end of next week and I wanted to see what I was up against. There is a rating system where anyone can click on up to 5 stars for each artist. Most decent work has received 3 stars, and so I was digging deep to see who got the 4 and 5 ratings, trying to understand WHY. Not that the artists with these higher rating did not deserve higher ratings, but it got me thinking about a subject that I don’t usually seen brought up very often, but think about all the time: Aesthetics vs. Cleverness.

If I had the readers I used to have, I would love to open this up for a giant dialog, but alas, I have become a big nobody in the artblog world. My own fault really. I neglected it all for so long/shut down for a long spell a year or so ago, and lost most of  my visitors. I probably have 10 readers now, if that. Still, doesn’t mean I can’t kvetch.

I don’t just make art, I buy and collect art. I’d like to think I have a pretty great collection, well on my way to being a quite serious one. For me anyway, while I can appreciate the kitsch and the cleverness of contemporary art, I sure don’t want to collect it for the long term. So, I don’t understand why it gets so much more attention out there than something that is much more desirable to live with. I have nothing against it, and in fact I think it’s smart to incorporate it just a touch, but not enough to exceed beauty. Why has beauty in art become a tainted, cheesy word? Is art art anymore – that thing that moves your soul (as goofy as that sounds), or is art all about trumping art history and being the next sensationalist? What sort of artistic  item would you rather treasure in your life for the next generation?

Maybe it’s about knowing what is and isn’t timeless, like a good song that won’t ever go out of style. One that doesn’t sound like all the other “new” songs. There is something about traditionalism, but it needs a very good helping of originality, and maybe above all that, it must have honesty. Those are the things I am drawn to when I buy something to have in my home that I plan to keep for the rest of my life, whatever the medium.

So I guess this has just been on my mind a lot. The artists that get a lot more attention are ones that are doing something a little weird, a little crazy, quite clever and sensational, shocking, odd, so-simple-it’s-funny, ironic, kitsch, recycled vintage, anti-art, or just plan bad for the sake of it being bad on purpose. Not ALL of them, but a lot. It doesn’t make me angry or anything actually (if I sound mad about it, I’m not really). I think it’s curious and I only wonder if I am the weird one for still appreciating a beautiful painting.

Happy New Year

Ayin Es1 Comment

Today is the first day of a new decade. How weird. How weird that I have lived through a few decades. I don’t feel all that old. I kinda still feel like I’m 8. Well anyway, good riddance to 2009. A thorn in my side. I made a stupid rhyme. I’m not once for New Year’s resolutions, but I have quite a few this time. I had my last cigarette yesterday. (Make way for dramatic mood swings.) And I have to lose all the weight I put on this past year. A year and a half actually, because it started with all the fast food in Las Vegas while staying in hospice with my dad. I’ve been eating badly ever since as a form of comfort and depression. So all that is going to stop and regular exercise will become a priority. Not only will it be better for me physically, it will apparently take me out of the doldrums – so say the doctors.

January I will begin working on a new series of paintings for my show in the fall at George Billis Gallery in Los Angeles. I’m looking forward to making the work. A little nervous about it too, but that’s a good thing I suppose. While working on it all, I’m also going to be embarking on a project that is totally different for me: a stop-motion animation project. I am lucky enough to partner up with UK artist Susan Holloway who is going to help me with making 2 short films. I am trying to get funding for the project, but if I don’t get it, I am still going to inch my way through the project slowly but surely.

I started to employ a part time assistant. That is totally new. And strange. I have never done that before and it’s not easy to let go of things or even know exactly what to divvy out. It forces me to organize my days a lot more because I have to give her something to do for the hours she is here that will essentially make it easier for me to just paint. It’s weird to let someone else do my administrative stuff because I’m such a control freak. It requires trust. She is one of my best friends, so I got lucky on that front. Having her seal panels and stuff like that will be interesting, and probably easy. It’s not brain surgery. Overall though, it’s very different, but it’s making me work more because I’m on a schedule part of the week. The rest of the week I can go into the studio at my leisure, so I still have time to do crack and drink whiskey.

Write Now

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I really don’t have much to say. I’ve been painting. I’ve been under the weather. My friend’s father just passed away. I’m busy, but depressed. Holidays kind of suck. I’m cold. I need a shower. My legs hurt. I’m keeping busy. I got a part time assistant (who is also my friend). Things are moving along. I started my novel. I am getting organized. I miss avoiding my parents this time of year. I am mad at past boyfriends. I am sad about old friends. I look forward to 2010. I’m excited about upcoming work. I’m mad I haven’t quit smoking yet. I don’t like the shape of my face. My dogs annoy me. I love my boyfriend. My car is comfortable. I’m always tired. I wish I could have children. I’m glad I don’t have kids. I don’t have time to write in this blog right now.

 

Happy Holidays.

Buckle Down

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Just buckling down, finishing up work, shipping them out and working on a few pieces at once. I finished up those few I had posted about earlier and they are on my site here – some of them on their way to Houston for my show that opens on the 5th, while some are on their way to Miami for the Red Dot Fair, and even more are packed up now, waiting to be shipped out to Latrobe, PA for a show at Saint Vincent College. Lots going on, so that’s good. I started a new one called, “I Waited for You,” but this is a really bad cell phone camera shot of it:

It’s a 36-inch square, oil, paper and linen on canvas and it still needs lots more paint and embroidery, but the basic composition is there. I’m also working on a tiny piece of my dad on a cell phone, a medium/small panel with some Hebrew on it, and considering doing some garment sculptures, but am going to need a sewing machine for it. It’s going to be very different for me and quite unsaleable, so it’s a bit of an unnerving idea. There’s also this animation idea I’d like to try. It’s super simple, but I think I need to to it. …Could be the drugs talking though. I don’t know.

Something big that I started completely sober is my book. Not an Artists’ book. A creative, autobiographical piece of genuine non-fictional, soon-to-be- novel-sized book.

I also put Horsebucket on super sale for 80 bucks until January 1st, so swoop in on the rest of them while they last.

I saw The Family Stone today, not a bad movie. I was intrigued with the family dynamics. I also saw Hard Core Logo the other night and it was also not too bad. Interesting, but expected more. Still, had I not expected anything, I would have wound up liking it more.

OH! Speaking of REAL writing. Real good writing that is, You MUST see my boyfriend’s new book page and READ THE DESCRIPTIONS of the books. They are absolutely hysterical! And I must say he is not really exaggerating much at all because you can see from his descriptions that he’s a damn talented writer and funny person. Buying one of his books ain’t no shabby, bad idear either. You’ll find out in a short amount of time why I fell in love with him.