Two, Third, Seven, Eight

I’m just waiting for my camera charge light to turn green and I think I will post the first two pieces of the series of seven? I suppose I’m still on the fence. Still thinking about it. Two are officially finished. The third one had a bit of a glitch in the Matrix, so it won’t be finished until later this week, or even the weekend, so I will be starting the next four this week and perhaps an eighth one will pop into my spaghetti brain. I really wanted to have eight in total before I showed them to anyone. I did, however, show a preliminary drawing on Google+ because that is where I spend all my social media time.

If any of you Facebook peoples wonder where I am, that’s where. Google+. If you aren’t on there yet, you should be. It is taking over Internetland.

So last week I worked, but not as much as I would have liked since I was ill. A different kind of ill if you had been following my entries. I have been feeling much better – with a lot of trepidation – which I suppose is normal. I am just glad I have been feeling better. 🙂

Little things made me appreciate my life. Actually, they usually do, but finishing little parts of the painting I was working on. It is not titled yet, but it has four black ovals. I was filling them in. I started with the edges, where I had to be very careful because they are against the finished birch wood. Just getting the line connected around from one end to the other made me do a happy dance. Filling them in was just icing on the cake. I was celebrating – and this particular painting isn’t even the one I like most. It’s the one I like least probably. Now that it’s all done, I like it pretty good. No feet, but I like it. It reminds me a bit of my 2004 work.

2004 was the year before I was picked up by the gallery, or rather, before they began courting me. It was a long process, yet everything seemed to have happened so fast. It was October and I did a residency at Vermont Studio Center. It was wonderful. Life changing really. I cried when I left to go back home, yet it was such a BIG deal that I even went.  Not too long before I went there, I was a shut in.

Not too many people know this about me, but there were a few years where I couldn’t leave the house, drive a car – I mean – I couldn’t even check the mailbox that stood a few steps outside our front door.  And at the time, I was in a wheelchair much of the time. It took years of therapy and reading books, and doing panic and phobia workbooks to get out of that mud, little by little. By the time I applied for that residency, I was barely ready for it. mjp had to fly out there with me and sort of set me up before it started so I could get used to the whole idea that I was going to be there for a month by myself without him and fly back alone.

My little secret that no one knew was that I came back a week early (pre-planned) and just didn’t answer my phone or use my computer, but I think my friend Suzan Woodruff knew and left a message about coming with her to meet George and the director at George Billis. It was kind of an important window of opportunity. I wasn’t even looking for a gallery. It fell into my lap, really.

These were the pieces that they ended up taking into inventory at the very end of 2004.

Polar Bearing, 2003. Paper patterns, thread, pins, oil & graphite on canvas, 24 x 24 inches.

 

Odetostas, 2004. Acrylic, oil and graphite on masonite panel, 20 x 16 inches.

 

Buffalo Girls, 2004. Acrylic, oil, fabric, pins & graphite on panel, 14 x 11 inches.

 

Electric Bill, 2004. Paper, acrylic, graphite & oil on canvas, 12 x 12 inches.

But, the ones I was thinking of in regards to the painting I’m talking about are these, which were done at the very wee-end of 2004 after I had a major surgery. Another story for another time.

Pollination, 2004. Oil, paper, acrylic and thread on canvas, 24 x 24 inches.

 

Night Blooming Seed Pods, 2005. Oil, pencil, paper and sticks on canvas, 12 x 12 inches.

 

The Roots of Gelt with Pods, 2005. Watercolor, pencil, ink, paper, money and sticks on paper, 22.5 x 30 inches.

Google Rankings

So since mjp and I have redone my website, with all the secret back-end programming, I am now coming in on Google searches for Los Angeles contemporary artist on the first page, ranking at #7.

If you have a computer monitor as big as mine (22 inches!), you don’t even have to scroll down to see that!

brad

Maybe I’m Feeling Better?

It’s a no-go on Yaddo. I got the rejection letter yesterday. Oh, boohoo. Whatever. I expect another letter from Montalvo mid-April. And I haven’t applied for anything else besides the California Community Foundation grant, and that one is practically impossible to get. I mean, I said that about the Pollock-Krasner and I somehow won that, but that was because they had a couple of drunken panel members who were also blind and possibly on fire. I don’t know how I won that thing! They probably got sick of seeing my name – “Give it to her already! Or she’ll never leave us alone!”

Went to therapy today. Yeah, therapy. They still haven’t fixed me. And I have to say I really love my therapist. It is really hard to find someone to trust and feel comfortable with. I think about people I know and the stories I have heard, and even a few stories of my own! It’s not easy to find a sane therapist. Many get into the field because they are not stable themselves, so it’s no wonder that there are plenty out there that are creepy or hippie-dippy, or just bad.

Before I went to mine, I researched thoroughly. Those of you that know me know that that probably means I went to each of their houses and took blood tests and asked for their birth certificates. I knew what kind of therapist I wanted and I didn’t want to fuck around with someone who didn’t know what they were doing because I had my face in psychology books for the last 10 years, and they were about specific issues you might want to call rare.

I found a winner. She is highly intelligent and understands everything I have been bringing to the table. So now, especially since I’m going through major medication changes, I want to see her once a week, at least for a little while, and that nice lady made it doable for me. 🙂

Then I came home a stood in my studio, too tired to really paint, but I have been thinking a LOT lately about setting up my drums. I began taking measurements and figuring out what to do about this electrical outlet and that plastic bin, and my drawing table, and where to put my carts, and long story short, I think I have it all figured out. It’s going to take a couple of days and I have to visit Home Depot, but I just might have a little drummer area up and running by next week. I have to squeeze it in – between paintings and doctor visits, and all my other dicking around I do.

I was going to talk about how fucking disappointed I am about how HBO cancelled Enlightened, but I need to get back to the easel, so I’ll bitch about it later.

Today, the Last Couple Weeks, and the Other Day

I picked up my last piece from Billis the other day.

amusementparkdetail

(Amusement Park,  2004. Acrylic and ink on dot marker paper, 38 x 27 inches.)

 

It wasn’t weird. You’d think it would be, but it wasn’t. Like I said before, I didn’t burn any bridges there and I feel that Tressa and Brooks, and even George remain my friends. I’m still listed on their website though. That change might take a while. I think they hire their webmaster but three times a year.

Just a couple of weeks out and what’s really interesting is the amount of ideas that have been coming to me since I gave my notice. I’m working on six pieces – five on birch panels (24 x 24 inches) and one of the same size on canvas. I am kinda crazy happy about all of them.

Arctic Memory will have to wait a bit, but it’s still set up in the studio, little broken threads laying all over the floor just in front of it. I realized that I did not paint the landscape under the letters after all. As I applied water to the paper, it was easier to pull them off and there was nothing but white, primed canvas under there. I then realized, I couldn’t have painted oil under the letters because I put those things on with a clear, acrylic polymer. Duh. Now I’m debating if I should just paint right over them (the Hei and the Kuf) and work on pulling off the other three since those are practically black. Whatever I do, it’s a back-burner project for now.

arcticmemorydetail

(Arctic Memory  (How it might look after the change, 2013). Oil, paper patterns, pencil, thread, embroidery on canvas, 40 x 60 inches.)

 

I am waiting for results from Yaddo to come any day now. I applied at the beginning of the winter, hoping to do a one month residency. This will be the third time I have applied. No, wait, the second time. I have applied to the MacDowell Colony twice as well. I’m not counting on it. I had written to them beforehand and asked them what the age range was in their last pool of selected artists. The oldest was 35. Yaddo was 40. I once applied to the Skowhegan School and the oldest ever was about 40. So I’m not counting on it.

I am hoping to make it to one of Peter Clothier’s One Hour/One Painting events – particularly the one on Miriam Wosk at SMMoA on March 23rd at 2:00 PM. Peter has a book out right now about the art of looking at art called Slow Looking. I highly admire Peter as both a writer and as a person who practices meditation regularly <– something I was never quite interested in until I began to know Peter and started to read his blog.

Anyway, I should get back to this canvas I’m painting. I am going to be hoarding the new work, so I will have to start thinking about what sort of pictures to insert into my posts. Here is a random elephant:

images

Bows and Flows of Angel Hair and Ice Cream Castles in the Air

And feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun. They rain and snow on everyone. So many things I would have done,
But clouds got in my way.

Remember when I said I thought I could get away with three coats on those panels? WRONG! But then it rained. And then I got the flu. I still have the flu. And while I had the flu, I got paranoid that it was a fatal side effect of one of the many new medications I have recently been put on.  It doesn’t help that I already have anxiety, or bouts of paranoia, or that “flu-like symptoms” are listed as a warning sign as a “serious” and “sometimes fatal” condition for a drug you have been taking for a few days. And let us add to that the general anxiety of my recent career choices, and the fact that my “Little Sister” has been lost in the Riverside foster care system for the past several weeks. I probably won’t even get to see her to say goodbye to her, and I would really like NOT to be depressed before I have any business taking on a new kid to mentor, I mean, ya know?

If I wasn’t sick right now, I’d be out there finishing those panels, but then again, my gardeners come sometime today, so it would not be a good day any way. I was hoping I could get them finished because I am picking up the rest of my artwork from George Billis Gallery tomorrow, which I already know is not going to be easy. I will bring a small box of tissues, for myself at least. Tressa has to be professional. I’m the artist, so I can be a wreck.

In better news, I designed a piece of art today that I really like. I say designed because it doesn’t exactly exist yet. I drew it in my sketch book, then I scanned it in. I scanned it because I meant to play with it in Photoshop and decide on the color palette, but that never happened. While I was trying to get the drawing centered onto a square, something kind of really cool happened. I was coloring the background color, which was set on a yellowish color (like the coloring for the birch panels) and without thinking, I just started swooshing it with a large white brush. “Oops.” But then, I left it alone. And I love it. I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t have happened had I not recently read an article about provisional painting. It’s an older article in Art in America from 2009 that Ellie Blankfort introduced to me a couple months ago, and it totally inspired me.

Anyway, I would show you this image I made, but I am trying to decide if I should start hoarding my work-in-progress until they are completed, and in fact, I’ve even considered waiting until I’ve had eight matching pieces. Isn’t that mean?

Okay, okay, I’ll tell you what I will do. This is much, much better than my idea/design anyhow.

This past week I fell IN LOVE with a piece of art you should all see. It’s by local, Los Angeles artist, Valerie Wilcox. And it’s the first thing you see when you go to her site, so you immediately fall in love before you make your way all the way into the site, making her some kind of master of strategy.

untitledworange

This is titled, Untitled w/Orange, 2012.
Acrylic, graphite, polystyrene, paper, 26 x 21 inches.

GOD I LOVE THIS!!!!