Ayin Es Blog

Palm Springs Fine Art Fair: I’m Getting Bored

February 17, 2013February 17, 2013Ayin EsLeave a comment

Saturday, and I’m getting bored. Nope, I’m actually a little depressed. Well, it’s not so much that I’m depressed than I am miserable.

I had to change rooms at my motel. There were four rooms right next to me, both on the first and second floors, filled with a bunch of fraternity kids that were LOUD and partying ALL NIGHT LONG and through to the next morning. Next door, on the other side of me, lived a lady with many dogs that needed to be groomed (including the lady) and most visibly her teeth, as she had very few of them. The frat kids made friends with her, perhaps to buy meth, and were talking in groups with her outside my door, which had been broken into at some point in the past. Part of the door had been kicked in, so light shined in on the lower half of where the door should have been shut all the way. It needed to be slammed hard in order to lock it or even close it.

I didn’t sleep much Friday night, but I got up on Saturday morning at 7:45 anyhow to meet Tressa for breakfast at a nice little place across the street called Rick’s. It was good. I tried to gently push for her to place my work somewhere more prominent in the booth for the day. Friday, only one piece was hung – kinda. It was low on a wall — behind a wall – where no one could possibly see it. The other one was still wrapped right next to it because that was the little storage space behind that particular wall. She assured me she was going to move everything around before 10:am and my work would be in a better place. I mostly cared about the one I had framed nicely the week before. I thought it looked pretty good in the frame.

After breakfast I went back to my room and it was pleasantly quiet, so I took myself a nappie pie. My new room wasn’t going to be ready until after 5:00 and I wouldn’t be back from the fair until after 8:00 anyway. Maybe even later because I kind of planned on hanging out with Tressa if she wanted to, after she was finished working.

Friday night I met with some of my dearest and oldest friends that live there in Palm Springs. They live about three miles from the convention center. They made me a beautiful dinner and yelled at me about being in a motel in the first place. I promised I would never do it again and had learned my lesson. From now on I stay with them when I go there. We had a great time and talked and I was reminded how so very lucky I was to have such amazingly giving people as friends.

But back to Saturday. I put on the best clothes I have, which is not saying much. Well, wait, yeah it is! My $100 pants, Calvin Klein blazer, $300 shoes and a J Crew blouse…not bad for a schlub that usually wears Levis and a t-shirt most days. I have to say though, I’m always in expensive shoes, even when they look like shit. A long time ago I changed the way I shopped. I stopped buying cheap stuff. I buy what I like no matter what it costs, I just have a very small wardrobe, which is fine with me because a) I hate shopping, and 2) I don’t like having too many choices when getting dressed.

So I “dressed up,” got into the little, white Fiat, and got to the Palm Springs Convention Center right at 3:00pm, just in time for Andi Campognone’s guided tour and lecture, which I find out very quickly is basically for total art novices. I realized, right after she brings the group to the first work of art (a video piece), that this tour is going to bore me to death, but I so wanted to talk to Andi.

Years ago, when Andi was the curator at the Riverside Art Museum, she picked me as one of the artists for a very cool group exhibition called Material Girls. The show was amazing and I was really proud to have been invited to be part of that. The Riverside Art Museum is SUCH a beautiful building. I was blown away. The only downside was that it was Andi’s last show there before Peter Frank took over her position and I was not able to meet her. I talked to her on the phone and I have been emailing her off and on all these years since, but I still have never met her in person, so while the group was observing the video art at the first booth, I took her aside and quickly/quietly introduced myself. She kind of squealed with excitement and told me she was such a fan of my work. Whaaa?! I told her it was I that was the fan of HER work. Before we started to argue over it, I excused myself and suggested we find each other after the lecture and have a cup of coffee. That was the plan anyway. Now Andi is the curator of the Lancaster Museum of Art and History.

Then I went to the Billis booth to see Tressa and the rearrangement of the artwork. I didn’t notice that much of a difference, except my framed piece was now hung on the wall – behind that wall that my other painting was on the back of. Because those two walls were but a couple feet from each other, the framed piece was all in shadow. You could not really see it unless you kind of jimmied yourself back in that storage cubby. You could notice a portion of it if you went towards the back of the booth, but not passing by the booth. I passed by it twice and didn’t see it, didn’t say anything to her because she was closing a sale. But details, details. I was NOT happy. By the time I saw where it was exactly, I was about to burst into tears, but she actually needed a little bit of help wrapping up the painting (a beautiful one by Tom Gregg ) that she just sold. Once that was done, I made sure she didn’t need a bathroom break or anything like that — so I could fly out the door to have a good sob.

I was pretty greify for a while, while walking around and looking at art, trying to get inspired. Some things did the job, but most things either did not, or only lifted me briefly. I was killing time, taking pictures here and there, waiting for an artists’ talk with Robert Kelly whom I truly admire. Quite a few of his works were there, as he was actually invited to especially exhibit and appear there at the fair by the Host Committee. In fact they were giving him a special award to honor him during Modernism Week in the city.

I took a seat in the theater early, in the back of course because that’s what brooding people do. And when it started, the award was given in about two shakes and, before you knew it, Steven Biller (The editor for Palm Springs Life) was already asking him questions. Robert, an extremely articulate man, was able to give long, but not too long, descriptive, and almost scientifically poetic answers to questions. I was fully engaged. I was inspired. It was exactly what I needed right then and there. He took some questions from the audience after that. I did not have any questions ready for him, but I wanted to talk to him. I just wanted to know everything about him. I could have heard him talk about black for hours.

I wound up asking him something via another audience member who asked something about a piece of Robert’s that he owned from 1992. I had wondered what the difference was in style, compared to the pieces at the fair to this particular one, or general pieces from the early 1990s. He told me that he had been working with a mentor back then that was a geologist turned painter and he had a strong influence on him. The work was a lot more painterly and expressive. It has taken him about 20 years to get to the standard he is at today. That just really put things into perspective for me.

We talked for about five minutes after his talk in front of a couple of his larger paintings, and then I thanked him and let him go. I went by the Billis booth and said goodbye to Tressa and let her know I would not be coming by the fair on Sunday. My plan was to leave early and come home.

That’s what I did. I got up at 7:30 and packed up and was home by 10:00 AM, still a blubbering mess.

First Day in Palm Springies

February 16, 2013February 17, 2013Ayin EsLeave a comment

I arrived pretty late here yesterday, probably a little after 1:00pm, and I had to wait for my room. I got an early check in, but the room was still not quite ready, so I waited in my little, rented white Fiat and texted a few people I needed to for about an hour until it was ready. I knew by the time I got all my stuff into the room and changed my clothes, I’d be too late for Peter Frank’s guided tour, so I skipped that and decided to meet a couple of guys from Stark + Kent, a cool little gallery here I found on Facebook. We have been emailing back and forth for close to a year now. They were very nice, and they also had a beautiful German Shepard named Madelyn. Most of the work in the gallery was of high quality. yet the pricing was reasonable. Two of the artists were very similar in medium and subject matter – male and a female – only the female’s were more subdued and the male’s (I only remember his first name – Arturo) was of more brilliant colors. I could not decide whose I loved more, but they competed against each other and I don’t know if that is a good or a bad thing.

The other thing was, they had told me they were not taking on any more artists until the spring, and I noticed a new artists that used garment patterns in her work – much more salable I have to say, so I fully understood. What can ya do?

So then I went to the fair at the convention center, which is magnificent by the way, a beautiful building. I actually tried to take a picture of the amazing entrance, but my stupid, fat fingers got in the way. I am really bad at taking pictures in general, I’ll have you know. On trips, during those great moments in life, of my dog, especially when she does cute things… I’m just not that person. I never care enough to break out my phone or camera in those moments, especially when I see everyone else doing it. Then I really get annoyed.

But I managed to take one pic yesterday of my friend Kelley Reemtsen‘s work at Skidmore Contemporary‘s booth. No one was around. It was convenient, so I did it. These are pastels.

Then this morning at breakfast with Tressa Williams, the Director of my gallery, George Billis, I took a picture of some mountains over a parking lot.

But the best picture I’d like to introduce you to is the TV that is in my motel room, circa 1981. It’s a Zenith, and it works about as good as it looks.

Road Trip!

February 14, 2013February 14, 2013Ayin EsLeave a comment

Tomorrow morning I am off to Palm Springs for the Palm Springs Fine Art Fair and I have to say, I am kinda excited. My LA gallery, George Billis, is bringing a couple of my pieces to see how they’ll do out there in the desert community. I too am curious, but trying not to be too hopeful.

I got a pretty good deal on a three star hotel, so I’m happy about that. What I’m not happy about is that I took my car into the shop this morning to get my front brake pads switched out, and they found that my master cylinder had some kind of leak in it and the whole thing needed to be replaced. So Pricey! Not only that, they didn’t have the part, so it could not be completed today. Boring story long, I have to rent some kind of little economy clown car for this trip. I hate driving a car I’m not used to, but…at least I don’t have to put the miles on my car. Trying to look on the bright side. That’s hard to do for me! My favorite CDs are in my car, plus I have the room I need for my little suitcase, my guitar, and just all my own little comforts and habits. I have nothing against economic cars, mind you. I have a 4-cylinder too, but it’s a CRV, so it has a lot of room like an SUV. I mean, what if I wanted to buy a huge painting and bring it home? Can’t do that now!

So the show I’m in, Intersecting Paths: Art and Healing, got the top pick in the most recent Jewish Journal. That’s pretty happening, don’t you think? Your name doesn’t have to be Ezra to appreciate that shit. High five me anyhow. It’s a berachah! (A blessing in any language!)

If I can figure out how to work my stupid phone, I will be tweeting from the fair, but if I can’t, I will be going back and forth to my hotel room anyway, so I will also be writing highlights on my blog and re-posting them on Google+, Twitter, and Facebook. Any good art I can take pics on will be going on Pinterest as well. I’ll do my best.

Or I’ll be a lazy son-of-a-bitch and you’ll hear nothing from me.

We’re Jammin’

February 10, 2013February 10, 2013Ayin EsLeave a comment

Captain’s Log, 9 February, 2013:

I jammed again today with my brother, Mike, and Jason. I’ve been sick so I was kinda in slow motion, but it was still fun. “Fun” is something I am still trying to find because I lost that part of playing the drums a long, long time ago. Playing stopped being fun about four years before I stopped playing. Then I totally stopped for 15 years, sans one gig I did with Falcon Eddy at the Pasadena Armory in 2007 that nearly killed me. I was exhausted after playing two sets of five songs (punk rock songs), I was so embarrassed. Then I figured I wouldn’t be able to find anyone who just wanted to play for fun. “Fun” had been replaced by “goals” for me, and I just didn’t want that anymore. So I’m finding that I’m getting little pieces of fun back, a fragment at a time.

The next two songs on our agenda are Back in Black by AC/DC and Led Zeppelin’s What Is And What Should Never Be.

What came before…

So…I’ve been “jamming” with my brother and our friend from childhood, Jason Mendiuk, in my bro’s garage in Burbank, and it’s been fun so far. I haven’t played in many, many years, so it’s been quite a trip – to say the least. I’m not even playing on my own set, which is something I have always been very picky about, but Mike, my brother, has a pretty damn good Tama set with a good sounding snare – and much to my surprise, his seat goes low enough. Most drum thrones do not go low enough for me. I practically sit on the floor, along with having the snare drum in my lap. I’ve been extremely picky, but It all worked out! Just a few adjustments and viola!

Now we have been doing homework of learning a few songs so we don’t sound as awful as we sounded the first time. Zeppelin’s “The Ocean” – and you’d think I’d know that one. It was the first song I ever learned on the drums, Steely Dan’s “Peg” and “Josie” and for some stupid reason, “Ziggy Stardust.” This was Jason’s idea. Not only do I not like the song, I don’t think it is possible for me to play, especially as an old geezer.

My brother and Jason are both three years older than I am. I think we have known Jason since 1977 because that was the year we came back to North Hollywood after a year or so in Pennsylvania. We lived in an apartment complex called The Cedars and Jason lived across the way from us. They both already played guitar, so they were instant friends. He was always around, so he’s really a lot like family.

That’s his Tele on the right, Mike’s boutique amp on the left, with all his fancy pedals. 🙂

Had I brought my own set, it would had looked a little something like this. It’s a custom Pork Pie set made by Bill Detemore and one assistant (Byron McMackin – the drummer for Pennywise) in his garage amongst his first 100 sets and before he was a bigger company. It’s hand numbered on the inside of the bass drum and it states that it was custom made for “Carol Es.” I also have a Zildjian ride from the 1970s (a 22 inch) that I acquired in a way that is a story in itself. You’d have to read my book to get that part of the story. It was back when I didn’t do the most legal things. The rest of my cymbals are Paiste, back when I had an endorsement with them. Those hi-hats are the black Terry Bozzio ones, but I still have my 1970s hi-hats I got when I got my ride, and I still play with an old Camco bass drum pedal. It’s really no different than those old DW pedals. They are hard to work and that’s why I like em.

I was buying snare drums from Bill Detemore for a couple of years before he had the idea to make my set, and I loved his idea. I was originally playing on a Gretsch, five-piece set. Very standard. 22, 14, 12, 14, 16. It was the kit I had saved up for and had wanted for years after being obsessed with this jazz drummer (whose name escapes me) that seemed to be playing almost every gig at the Baked Potato on Cahuenga Blvd. in Universal City. He was playing with great musicians like Steve Lukather, Larry Carlton, Steve Vai, Michael Laundau, or anyone who happen to show up and sit in with whoever was playing that night. Major guys would regularly come into that club and just jam, and this frequently happened at another club around the block called Dante’s. So, I wanted a drumset like that guy’s.

Then Bill approached me after a show of mine when I was in the Extinct. We were playing at the Roxy and it was a particularly good show. Packed house, and I knew Bill was there and I really wanted some kind of endorsement from him, even if it was 20% off. By the time I got off the stage, he was so excited. He knew the sizes and the colors, and I loved it! An 18″ kick. Piccolo snare. One 8″ tom, and a 14″ floor. All would be different colors: green, blue, orange, and the rims of the bass drum would tie the different colors together. The finish would still show the grain of the maple wood underneath. I LOVED this idea. The smaller drums would cut through the sound better, I would look like the right size behind the drums, and I would simplify, because I was a pocket drummer. I wasn’t all about fancy fills and such. So I love my Pork Pie drums. I will never sell them. It was so perfect for me and I got a great endorsement!

But I sold those beautiful Gretsch drums to Chris Frazier who, at the time, was playing for Steve Vai. And no, I was not anorexic in the above photo, I was just too skinny and couldn’t afford a hamburger.

I’ve Been

February 5, 2013February 5, 2013Ayin Es2 Comments

I’ve been mental. A mental case. One foot in crazy town, the other in “everything’s fine.”

A few weeks back, I went to see my doctor. My regular doctor, not my shrink, and like every doctor visit, they weigh you and take your vitals before you actually see the doctor. Well I stepped on the scale (those scales are pretty darn accurate) and I went into a kind of shock. I was probably frozen in denial for a few hours – maybe until I got home and thought to weigh myself on my scale at home, which read about four pounds less than the scale at the doctors, but still heavier than I had ever seen that scale go. Then, from that moment forward, a dark mass began to move into me, like the worst thunder storm just before it shoots out its first bolt of lightning, only it was not cold. It was warm and comfortable. Familiar. Too familiar.

I’ve heard some people talk about depression and how they can take a walk, take vitamin D, or warts on Saint John’s nose, or whatever. They don’t know depression. I’m talking serious, wanting to die, self-cutting depression. That is foreign to them. It would be nice just to have a bad day, and when I am correctly medicated, I do. But my medication is in transition right now and it SUCKS!

Now, not only am I on an SSRI, an anti-anxiety, and an anti-psychotic, but now an antidepressant is added to the mix too. That’s not counting the light chemo, the MS and Lupus meds, and pain killers. I think it’s amazing I was able to produce this new painting last week that I actually really, really love. I call the top part, “In My Dreams, I Fall Apart” and the lower half is titled, “Dick Boat with Feet.”