Just writing and doing a little bit of drawing, not enough painting (as usual) but I am inspired. Luckily, not too inspired, like I was kind of complaining about the other day. I’ve been having these personal little art thoughts though.
I think I was just in a strange place the other day because I am gathering up little bits and pieces of visions, ideas, thoughts, etc. that I know will eventually be revealed as a whole. A clearer path. I’ve just been standing in my own way. And that’s always the case in these silly situations. I think to much! I’m not “over-inspired.” I’m impatient.
Being impatient comes with being bi-polar. It’s part of feeling a little manic. That’s what I chalk it up to anyway. It’s not a normal kind of in impatience either, like waiting for the bus. It’s pretty urgent, like having to pee – right now! I want to make everything – right now. Even things I haven’t thought up yet. And this isn’t even in the part of my thinking brain. I’m not processing it like that. It’s more the feeling, emotional part of my brain. My thinking brain is what gets me into trouble: How will this idea fit into the other series’ I’ve done so far? Is this part of a new body of work? What is the narrative? That kind of shit.
I give myself way more freedom when I draw though. I don’t know why paint is so damn precious.
These drawings are the kind of loosey goosey things I mean when I’m talking about not thinking. These are just random scans of what I’ve done over the last couple of years, by the way, and the last one is pretty recent. These drawings all get pretty personal and I don’t show them much on my blog or my website, and I also don’t use them much as fodder for my paintings either — maybe because I don’t want to paint anything very personal anymore – hmmm. Writing that makes me think. It makes me think a lot actually.
Once I get through the turtle house painting and get out to the desert, we’ll see how things go. We’ll see what happens.