I just had to give props to Amy Schumer for speaking out about the sexual assault made on her by a former boyfriend. Please go to the link, as it is important fucking info.
It seems this article comes up in my life at a sincerely poignant time too. I’ve been working on the final draft of my book – Amy’s book is now out by the way and it’s called The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo – and I’d been so preoccupied with cutting the shit out of mine to get the word count down, that I forgot to make some very important points about my sexual assaults (yes, plural). Specifically keeping my thoughts and views in. I got so caught up with keeping to the facts and information, and stupidly, “the accuracy of the narrative,” that I didn’t leave any room for how I felt about what happened to me because I didn’t think it had much importance. Wha?
The long and the short of that all comes down to SHAME, and fear too. Fear and shame, my two buddies. Women are so petrified to tell their assault stories because they don’t think they are going to be believed for one thing, especially in the case when the situation is complex – which they usually are – because the perps are someone they know! It would be “nice” to be able to say that you got raped at gunpoint down a dark alley. There’s not much confusion about that, and if you go to the police after that to collect the DNA, viola! Then you only feel regular shame. But when it’s by someone you know, you aren’t even completely sure you were violated, especially when it’s your friend or boyfriend. What’s a few bruises between friends?
I had a compelling therapy session about this yesterday and realized I had to go back and make some room in the book to highlight some of the shame I’ve had and am still dealing with decades later, even though I do not want to be viewed as a “victim” in this book. But I think it’s important and empowering nonetheless. It should be in there, if only for the hope that other women can maybe relate. Then, mjp brought this Schumer article to my attention and it was like the icing on the cake that set it all in stone for me. Kismet! I’m re-writing some paragraphs now. So…
Thank you Amy! I already loved you for your comedy, and now I just love you more.