Slowly, or not so slowly, all my potential doctors are dropping out of the race. I don’t know which gorilla’s hands I’m going to be in the care of now, and it’s such an icky feeling. And when it will be? And where? I also don’t know how I’ll pay for it. Mana from the sky? Truthfully, I feel like I’m standing naked in the cold rain, and people are throwing rotten fruit at me.
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Creating Choices
When I’m impatient, the only way to suffer through is to create choices–even if they’re hypothetical. I don’t know why, but it helps.
Continue readingIt Just Gets Worse
If you think it was bad with my insurance company the other day, it only gets worse. If you care, here are the details…
Continue readingDebtception
Even in my darkest moments, I never give up hope. But I’m in my darkest moments now. Maybe this is the very stuff that keeps me alive. I can’t explain it really. Some folks call me a negative pessimist, but I’m not. I complain, yes. But I’m actually an optimist. I fight. And I am hopeful.
Continue readingWhich is Worse?
Which is which, and which is worse? I can’t tell if I’m having super deep dysphoria, bouts of extreme depression, or stomach-turning impatience. Maybe all of the above.
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