We’re Jammin’

Captain’s Log, 9 February, 2013:

I jammed again today with my brother, Mike, and Jason. I’ve been sick so I was kinda in slow motion, but it was still fun. “Fun” is something I am still trying to find because I lost that part of playing the drums a long, long time ago. Playing stopped being fun about four years before I stopped playing. Then I totally stopped for 15 years, sans one gig I did with Falcon Eddy at the Pasadena Armory in 2007 that nearly killed me. I was exhausted after playing two sets of five songs (punk rock songs), I was so embarrassed. Then I figured I wouldn’t be able to find anyone who just wanted to play for fun. “Fun” had been replaced by “goals” for me, and I just didn’t want that anymore. So I’m finding that I’m getting little pieces of fun back, a fragment at a time.

The next two songs on our agenda are Back in Black by AC/DC and Led Zeppelin’s What Is And What Should Never Be.

What came before…

So…I’ve been “jamming” with my brother and our friend from childhood, Jason Mendiuk, in my bro’s garage in Burbank, and it’s been fun so far. I haven’t played in many, many years, so it’s been quite a trip – to say the least. I’m not even playing on my own set, which is something I have always been very picky about, but Mike, my brother, has a pretty damn good Tama set with a good sounding snare – and much to my surprise, his seat goes low enough. Most drum thrones do not go low enough for me. I practically sit on the floor, along with having the snare drum in my lap. I’ve been extremely picky, but It all worked out! Just a few adjustments and viola!

Now we have been doing homework of learning a few songs so we don’t sound as awful as we sounded the first time. Zeppelin’s “The Ocean” – and you’d think I’d know that one. It was the first song I ever learned on the drums, Steely Dan’s “Peg” and “Josie” and for some stupid reason, “Ziggy Stardust.” This was Jason’s idea. Not only do I not like the song, I don’t think it is possible for me to play, especially as an old geezer.

My brother and Jason are both three years older than I am. I think we have known Jason since 1977 because that was the year we came back to North Hollywood after a year or so in Pennsylvania. We lived in an apartment complex called The Cedars and Jason lived across the way from us. They both already played guitar, so they were instant friends. He was always around, so he’s really a lot like family.

That’s his Tele on the right, Mike’s boutique amp on the left, with all his fancy pedals. 🙂

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Had I brought my own set, it would had looked a little something like this. It’s a custom Pork Pie set made by Bill Detemore and one assistant (Byron McMackin – the drummer for Pennywise) in his garage amongst his first 100 sets and before he was a bigger company. It’s hand numbered on the inside of the bass drum and it states that it was custom made for “Carol Es.” I also have a Zildjian ride from the 1970s (a 22 inch) that I acquired in a way that is a story in itself. You’d have to read my book to get that part of the story. It was back when I didn’t do the most legal things. The rest of my cymbals are Paiste, back when I had an endorsement with them. Those hi-hats are the black Terry Bozzio ones, but I still have my 1970s hi-hats I got when I got my ride, and I still play with an old Camco bass drum pedal. It’s really no different than those old DW pedals. They are hard to work and that’s why I like em.

drummer

I was buying snare drums from Bill Detemore for a couple of years before he had the idea to make my set, and I loved his idea. I was originally playing on a Gretsch, five-piece set. Very standard. 22, 14, 12, 14, 16. It was the kit I had saved up for and had wanted for years after being obsessed with this jazz drummer (whose name escapes me) that seemed to be playing almost every gig at the Baked Potato on Cahuenga Blvd. in Universal City. He was playing with great musicians like Steve Lukather, Larry Carlton, Steve Vai, Michael Laundau, or anyone who happen to show up and sit in with whoever was playing that night. Major guys would regularly come into that club and just jam, and this frequently happened at another club around the block called Dante’s. So, I wanted a drumset like that guy’s.

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Then Bill approached me after a show of mine when I was in the Extinct. We were playing at the Roxy and it was a particularly good show. Packed house, and I knew Bill was there and I really wanted some kind of endorsement from him, even if it was 20% off. By the time I got off the stage, he was so excited. He knew the sizes and the colors, and I loved it! An 18″ kick. Piccolo snare. One 8″ tom, and a 14″ floor. All would be different colors: green, blue, orange, and the rims of the bass drum would tie the different colors together. The finish would still show the grain of the maple wood underneath. I LOVED this idea. The smaller drums would cut through the sound better, I would look like the right size behind the drums, and I would simplify, because I was a pocket drummer. I wasn’t all about fancy fills and such. So I love my Pork Pie drums. I will never sell them. It was so perfect for me and I got a great endorsement!

But I sold those beautiful Gretsch drums to Chris Frazier who, at the time, was playing for Steve Vai. And no, I was not anorexic in the above photo, I was just too skinny and couldn’t afford a hamburger.

I’ve Been

I’ve been mental. A mental case. One foot in crazy town, the other in “everything’s fine.”

A few weeks back, I went to see my doctor. My regular doctor, not my shrink, and like every doctor visit, they weigh you and take your vitals before you actually see the doctor. Well I stepped on the scale (those scales are pretty darn accurate) and I went into a kind of shock. I was probably frozen in denial for a few hours – maybe until I got home and thought to weigh myself on my scale at home, which read about four pounds less than the scale at the doctors, but still heavier than I had ever seen that scale go. Then, from that moment forward, a dark mass began to move into me, like the worst thunder storm just before it shoots out its first bolt of lightning, only it was not cold. It was warm and comfortable. Familiar. Too familiar.

I’ve heard some people talk about depression and how they can take a walk, take vitamin D, or warts on Saint John’s nose, or whatever. They don’t know depression. I’m talking serious, wanting to die, self-cutting depression. That is foreign to them. It would be nice just to have a bad day, and when I am correctly medicated, I do. But my medication is in transition right now and it SUCKS!

Now, not only am I on an SSRI, an anti-anxiety, and an anti-psychotic, but now an antidepressant is added to the mix too. That’s not counting the light chemo, the MS and Lupus meds, and pain killers. I think it’s amazing I was able to produce this new painting last week that I actually really, really love. I call the top part, “In My Dreams, I Fall Apart” and the lower half is titled, “Dick Boat with Feet.”

inmydreamsdetail

Yesterday

Yesterday I had to pull ten paintings out to deliver to a curator and they had to be within a certain price range. I pulled older work mostly, well going back as far as 2008. That’s old in art world years. They had all been wrapped up an stored for so long, I almost forgot about them! Two of them, I have never showed before, and the other two have been shown, somewhere… I dunno where. The curator picked these four:

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Bi-Polar Sundae, 2009. Oil, paper and pencil on panel, 24 x 24 inches.

haveabeerdetail
Have a Beer, 2009. Oil, pattern paper and pencil on panel, 20 x 20 inches.

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Dream, 2009. Oil, paper and pencil on panel, 24 x 24 inches.

rememberdetail
Remember, 2008. Oil, acrylic, paper & graphite on wood panel, 18 x 18 inches.

Two different styles, I know, but it was interesting to me that the first two are pretty abstract – which has been the direction I have been going this year so far. I guess it just took me a while to continue what I started four years ago.

NEW ESART

Well, I haven’t written a blog post since I updated my website. Here is the “Press Release” for those of you that missed it:

Los Angeles, CA – Okay, I have now officially launched my new, improved website after two years in the making (yes, it took that long!). If you thought my site was cool before, wait until you experience the new features and content now. You’re going to poop your pants!

My trusty partner (a.k.a. mjp) and I have finally managed to create an entirely new and original design with fun and user-friendly navigation. The site is still sleek and simple, using my own handwriting and personality – that part doesn’t go away. Over 880 original artworks are displayed on top of a database that presents each and every category of artwork in easy-to-see, bite-sized sections. PLUS, there is now a NEW search engine, making everything you might be looking for that much easier!

Books, prints, paintings and works on paper are now more bitchen to view and/or purchase with a simple mouse click. Additional features include the options to view descriptions of the art. They are not all there yet however. Keep in mind I am writing 880 of these. Some are just process notes, while others are stories, inspirations, and anecdotes written by yours truly. Individual displays of each work include little rulers and yardsticks to give you better insight as to the size of each piece. Viewers also have the ability to Like, Tweet, +1, or Pin individual artworks to their favorite social media networks. Woo hoo!

Everything you’d ever want to know about me and my art is a cinch to view, including my blog, and an inside look at my past and present studio spaces. As always, you can still sign up for my seasonal newsletter to get updates on exhibitions, and a personal account of my hair-pulling progress on the various, ongoing projects I subject myself to.

Esart.com has been in existence since 1996. Do you know how old that is in dog years? It’s had its trademark “look” for the last 12 years, if you can believe it. It was high time for a redesign. So take a look and poke around. Tell me what you think! I’m usually around.

Some News

The new website launch is coming next week! I am very excited about it and think you might be too. We (MJP and I) are just putting all the last minute touches on it, and running multiple tests before it all goes live. I’m shooting for Thursday, but it’s a kind of wait-and-see kinda thing.

I am in a new group show at George Billis Gallery called Colorful Antics, which opens next Saturday! It’s from 5 – 8 PM. I will be at the opening early, then I’m off to a close friend’s 50th birthday dinner. I hope some of you can make the opening, but if not, definitely try and see this show – it’s spectacularly fun!

I will be showing some new, and not-so-new, work along side of Derek Buckner, Yaya Chou, Stanley Goldstein, Tom Gregg, Kathy Halper, Duane Paul, Charlotte Smith, Barbara Strasen and Trine Wejp-Olsen. Here is the invite:

colorful_antics

I also just finished my first painting of 2013. It’s a small, oil on canvas abstract that’s 16 x 20 inches. See?:

ladders

I am also going to be in a very special show at the Hebrew Union College at USC on the 14th, called “Intersecting Paths: Art & Healing,” curated by Georgia Freedman-Harvey. Georgia has been working with the Kalsman Institute on Judaism & Health with Cedars-Sinai, who is the co-sponsor of the exhibit. I will have quite a few paintings in this show, along with many other wonderful artists with candid, in-depth stories about both the process of creating their art, and the various reasons the works reveal healing components.

The opening for this show is February 20th, and there is going to be an online catalog that will be launching this month to accompany the show. The website will then become a permanent part of the Kalsman Institute’s website, which will also include a resource section with organizations that offer art programs/projects that promote healing.