Too hot to think

It is too hot to move, too hot to put clothes on, too hot to think. We are having a record-breaking heatwave here in Los Angeles and it’s a killer, I tell you! We weren’t affected much in San Pedro when this happened. In fact, no one I know had air conditioning in San Pedro. You didn’t need it.

But alas, I am not in Pedro anymore. I’m up here on the El Sereno/South Pasadena/Alhambra border. And while it’s beautiful, it’s HOT, even with A/C. I hear that northeast Pasadena is like 10 degrees hotter, so I feel bad for mjp. Luckily he is indoors in the AC.

I only managed to work a little bit on the green painting, but it’s slightly further along. It’s just hard to see in this blurry image. I spend a lot of time layering a lot of medium in order to get a rich, almost incandescent, coloring, something I’ve been doing a long time. I think it gives it a polished look in the end, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Often I just want to obsess less and see what would happened if I left it the fuck alone, but I’m not going to do that with this piece. I’m going to put all my efforts in like I do all my canvases otherwise I don’t feel right about showing or selling them.

pey2

I use a lot of underpainting for texture and depth, coating the top with either a thick (matte) or transparent oil color. The pattern paper I use takes a lot of abuse, first with sticking it onto the canvas with a clear acrylic polymer — which leaves a shine, and I hate that shine, so then I work with swirling a lot of acrylic matte color on top of the paper and over the polymer until the paper absorbs it and the shine diminishes. I’ll get a lot of rough parts in the paper, kind of spotty, in the areas that didn’t get sealed with the polymer. I kind of like that (depending) because it shows the paper getting roughed up, like scrubbing it until it almost starts to fall apart. It’s fun stuff. I try to be careful not to completely hide that manila color of the paper, even when it’s mixed with paint – I like to keep some of that original paper color present somehow.

I feel like I am giving away my secrets. I don’t know what compelled me to start typing about this stuff.

Anyway, after all that is done, I feel like then the thing is ready to be painted on. I know that sounds silly since I’m painting layers on it before that, but when I get to the point where I’m using pure oil paint and pencil, it’s all prep work to me. The basic composition is there, and the original vision, but then it’s time to expand on that and see where it all goes. That’s the “painting” part.

The stage you see here is me just starting to “paint” it. I can confirm, however, that the top left corner of this painting is 90% done.

When it’s all done being painted and it dries, I stitch on it: one stitch at a time. I poke the holes first, so I can see where I’m at from the back of the canvas because light comes through those holes and the light is my guide.

After that I’ll embroider some elements in the painting. That part is fun too, because it’s the ‘finisher” to the whole thing and I can start to see what the hell I’ve made. And I usually hate it until I can walk away from it for some days. Well maybe not hate as much as can’t be objective. That is a whole other process. The artist spends all this time with the process of creating and fabrication, having a very close personal relationship with the work in a way a viewer will never ever know, then the viewer is experiencing something the artist will never know because of the very intimate time we spent working on it. I can compare it to a mother raising a child, then letting that child loose to fend for themselves. You’re proud, yet horrified, terrified and cautious. You know you did your best, and now you must put the child to the test.

I guess I spent most of the day Tuesday working on this doll thing instead of painting.

doll2

If I can get it to where I want it, I’ll put it in the show and hang it from the ceiling, but I think this one is more like the prototype and not the one I’ll be happy with.

I did manage to finish the 2 dollar bill. I expected to sew on it, or embroider it, but I just painted something goofy on it. I’ll scan it when it’s dry and send it off to Mat Gleason.

Sleepy Working Weekend

I’ve been tired. Having a hard time getting enough sleep, so my work schedule has been going in spurts whenever I get a good dose of caffeine in me.

I have been changing too. Inside, I’m feeling a change. I’m about to turn 40. I think I’m finally putting aside a lot of baggage and issues, like caring what people think. That’s a big one, but it’s been like a little handbag and not the anvil case it has been.

Getting back into the swing of painting again, I’m starting to stress less about what to create, and rather letting myself create. I think this has a lot to do with trusting myself and giving the id permission to indulge, with little need for control.

Today I’m working on this green piece… Get it? Greenpeace?? Okay, maybe that was a stupid joke. I’m working on what seems to be a greenish colored canvas. (34″ square) It’s turning green/gold/brown/black/white. I’m just letting myself paint without too much in mind but a skeleton of an idea. It started with green drippings over the letter Pei, a car crash and some floating heads. Go figure.

I also have been fucking around with what seems to be some kind of doll. It’s so much easier to sit, relax, and sew than it is to hold up my arms and paint for long periods. I am hovering between doing both, while thinking about what to do with my 2-dollar bill.

Nuews

A review of the Bookish show came out in the Seattle Times this weekend. Here’s an excerpt:

Es, a self-taught Los Angeles artist with a burgeoning career, is represented in this show by two of her handmade artist’s books, which display charming drawings and witty writing. Her appealing approach creates a disjuncture — while also allowing a deeper engagement — with her achingly brutal statements about her difficult childhood. 

Also, I am part of the Summer Salon group show at George Billis Gallery that has an opening reception tonight from 5-8 pm.

More blabbering

Here is another new panel piece from the Black Hole series. I guess it’s a “series” now since I keep repeating myself. Perhaps all “series” is when an artist won’t shut up about something specific. I think that’s the technical definition anyway.

Speaking of defining things with stupid art language, this is a great little quiz on C-Monster. I finally got a few non-artist friends to see why I write in that stupid way that I do sometimes.

So I have no reason to be sad today. I am making some small sales from the Bookish show, and I just got word that Sweetnsour Pie was added to the Artists’ Book Collection at the Museum of Modern Art Library in New York. MOMA baby! Fucken-A! Woot-woot and a hoot ‘n a-hollar.

I had planned on making quite a few of these Black Hole panels, and I think I still will, but not on all these panels I recently purchased. I’m not going to name names, but the guy has usually made some very high quality things for me. This time I am pretty unhappy and can not bring myself to keep working as planned on the remainder of them. Unless I come into some money to replace them with my other guy’s panels, I’m going to have to go another way with these. It’s due to the birch finish I think, although, it could be the new sealer I used, or the thickness of the face of the panels — I’m not sure, but I just won’t try to make more of these. I do not like them Sam I am!