Thoughts

Clever Art, Timeless?

Ayin Es4 Comments

Hi everybody. I feel like I haven’t written in this blog about anything truly art-related in a long time. I don’t know why that is exactly. A mixture of depression/hibernation and fear, or perhaps indifference, laziness, forgetfulness and lack of passion. My passion has been redirected, rather. I used to bring my ideas out on my blog a lot. That’s what it was for. I’d keep track of my ideas and the art world in general. I had a lot of readers too. Now, not so much. I also had the feed piping through my Facebook page and it took me forever to figure out how to stop that. I found it just censored everything I really wanted to say, or I’d cringe after every blog entry, realizing it was feeding its way through Facebook. I don’t know why; it just made me throw up a little. Perhaps because I am too personal here and the mix of people of Facebook are just not exactly the right mix. I think if someone wants to read this blog, they should just come here and read it. They can read every word, or they can skim it. They can comment, disagree, laugh it off, shrug, roll their eyes, relate, kill time, or whatever they want and I don’t need to know who they are for the most part.

Anyway, today I was just checking in on the West Collection/Prize entrants, because I am one of them. They are going to post the 10 winners at the end of next week and I wanted to see what I was up against. There is a rating system where anyone can click on up to 5 stars for each artist. Most decent work has received 3 stars, and so I was digging deep to see who got the 4 and 5 ratings, trying to understand WHY. Not that the artists with these higher rating did not deserve higher ratings, but it got me thinking about a subject that I don’t usually seen brought up very often, but think about all the time: Aesthetics vs. Cleverness.

If I had the readers I used to have, I would love to open this up for a giant dialog, but alas, I have become a big nobody in the artblog world. My own fault really. I neglected it all for so long/shut down for a long spell a year or so ago, and lost most of  my visitors. I probably have 10 readers now, if that. Still, doesn’t mean I can’t kvetch.

I don’t just make art, I buy and collect art. I’d like to think I have a pretty great collection, well on my way to being a quite serious one. For me anyway, while I can appreciate the kitsch and the cleverness of contemporary art, I sure don’t want to collect it for the long term. So, I don’t understand why it gets so much more attention out there than something that is much more desirable to live with. I have nothing against it, and in fact I think it’s smart to incorporate it just a touch, but not enough to exceed beauty. Why has beauty in art become a tainted, cheesy word? Is art art anymore – that thing that moves your soul (as goofy as that sounds), or is art all about trumping art history and being the next sensationalist? What sort of artistic  item would you rather treasure in your life for the next generation?

Maybe it’s about knowing what is and isn’t timeless, like a good song that won’t ever go out of style. One that doesn’t sound like all the other “new” songs. There is something about traditionalism, but it needs a very good helping of originality, and maybe above all that, it must have honesty. Those are the things I am drawn to when I buy something to have in my home that I plan to keep for the rest of my life, whatever the medium.

So I guess this has just been on my mind a lot. The artists that get a lot more attention are ones that are doing something a little weird, a little crazy, quite clever and sensational, shocking, odd, so-simple-it’s-funny, ironic, kitsch, recycled vintage, anti-art, or just plan bad for the sake of it being bad on purpose. Not ALL of them, but a lot. It doesn’t make me angry or anything actually (if I sound mad about it, I’m not really). I think it’s curious and I only wonder if I am the weird one for still appreciating a beautiful painting.

Write Now

Ayin EsLeave a comment

I really don’t have much to say. I’ve been painting. I’ve been under the weather. My friend’s father just passed away. I’m busy, but depressed. Holidays kind of suck. I’m cold. I need a shower. My legs hurt. I’m keeping busy. I got a part time assistant (who is also my friend). Things are moving along. I started my novel. I am getting organized. I miss avoiding my parents this time of year. I am mad at past boyfriends. I am sad about old friends. I look forward to 2010. I’m excited about upcoming work. I’m mad I haven’t quit smoking yet. I don’t like the shape of my face. My dogs annoy me. I love my boyfriend. My car is comfortable. I’m always tired. I wish I could have children. I’m glad I don’t have kids. I don’t have time to write in this blog right now.

 

Happy Holidays.

Buckle Down

Ayin Es2 Comments

Just buckling down, finishing up work, shipping them out and working on a few pieces at once. I finished up those few I had posted about earlier and they are on my site here – some of them on their way to Houston for my show that opens on the 5th, while some are on their way to Miami for the Red Dot Fair, and even more are packed up now, waiting to be shipped out to Latrobe, PA for a show at Saint Vincent College. Lots going on, so that’s good. I started a new one called, “I Waited for You,” but this is a really bad cell phone camera shot of it:

It’s a 36-inch square, oil, paper and linen on canvas and it still needs lots more paint and embroidery, but the basic composition is there. I’m also working on a tiny piece of my dad on a cell phone, a medium/small panel with some Hebrew on it, and considering doing some garment sculptures, but am going to need a sewing machine for it. It’s going to be very different for me and quite unsaleable, so it’s a bit of an unnerving idea. There’s also this animation idea I’d like to try. It’s super simple, but I think I need to to it. …Could be the drugs talking though. I don’t know.

Something big that I started completely sober is my book. Not an Artists’ book. A creative, autobiographical piece of genuine non-fictional, soon-to-be- novel-sized book.

I also put Horsebucket on super sale for 80 bucks until January 1st, so swoop in on the rest of them while they last.

I saw The Family Stone today, not a bad movie. I was intrigued with the family dynamics. I also saw Hard Core Logo the other night and it was also not too bad. Interesting, but expected more. Still, had I not expected anything, I would have wound up liking it more.

OH! Speaking of REAL writing. Real good writing that is, You MUST see my boyfriend’s new book page and READ THE DESCRIPTIONS of the books. They are absolutely hysterical! And I must say he is not really exaggerating much at all because you can see from his descriptions that he’s a damn talented writer and funny person. Buying one of his books ain’t no shabby, bad idear either. You’ll find out in a short amount of time why I fell in love with him.

The Terribles

Ayin Es3 Comments

I’ve been working on “terrible” paintings lately. I am doing this because I feel I’ve had such fear of making a bad painting, that I over-think my approach. This idea has really been helping me to get back into the swing of things again.I have quite a few pieces in progress and only a couple so far really are terrible.

I got this notion after speaking with a good friend of mine, Robin Cracknell. Robin is an amazing fine art photographer in London. His works are compelling with deep-rooted issues around giving a voice to children that have perhaps not been taken seriously, believed, or otherwise ignored. It speaks volumes, to me especially. His work just continues to resonate with me. And having this inspiring conversation with him has brought new light to my process in making my own work. I don’t know how to thank him, but I hope this new energy lasts a good long while. I’ve needed it.

So here are a few works that are still in progress:

thedealip

This one is called The Deal and the painting on it is done. Now it needs to be embroidered all over. A time consuming task.

This next one, Ofrenda, I’ve been working on since I moved into my studio and I would say that the painting bits are very close to done. Then I’ll have to wait for it to dry and start on the embroidery.

ofrenda3aip

Now this one is a complete piece of crap that I still don’t know what to do with:

shit

It seems pretty unfinished, but you get the basic gist of what it is mostly looking like.

The following is finished, but it’s, well, I have no idea about it. But it’s called, Have a Beer.

haveabeer

What the hell do you make of it? Actually, nevermind. No comments from the audience, please. I need to make my own decisions, and that’s something that is not so easy for me to do, but I’m learning and getting a bit better at it. I am good at making instinctual decisions, just not conscious ones!

I’m also working on this big square the has a giant red circle on it. I know what I want to do with it, it’s just a little weird. Trying to be weird and allowing yourself to be weird are two very different things, mind you. Giving yourself permission to be free is one thing. Attempting, and trying, to be odd and original does not work. It’s all about listening to your true voice. This is genuine. Letting all the crap from the art world, commercialism, galleries, critics, and other people enter your mind is just suicide. This kind of focus is not easy. “How does this work with my other paintings” is another fucked up thought that tries to sabotage me in my studio. You have to stop thinking in terms of shows, series, bodies of work to really start making art that is true to yourself, and all these tasks are not as easy as one would think because we all want to be loved and we all want success. I guess it’s just a matter of redefining what success is — all the while living in a society that clearly dictates which achievements are successful. Fucken society! Who needs em?

Okay, in other news, artist Jeremy Quinn has featured his studio visit at Moppet on his blog. What a nice treat!

Happy Halloween everybody!

I was going to ramble on about something else, but now I forget, so bye.

Fear-facing

Ayin Es5 Comments

Okay, so for the last few days I’ve been painting in the studio, totally skipping out on my computer. I wake up, have my coffee, do a very quick check for important emails, put on my jeans and a t-shirt and run out the door before I get caught up in something that will inevitably distract me from getting my ass in gear. It’s been good – I am working on I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck/fear-facing stuff, mainly a 36 x 48 inch canvas that is not too terrible.

When I come home, I eat and have been working on my City of LA Individual Artist Grant Application – a very hard grant to win, but I try every year nonetheless. I am a little worried about my all-too-honest project narrative this time though. I blatantly state I will be working on a body of terrible art. Hahaha! But I do explain it so it’s not just left at that. Every day I have been trying to recommit myself to making terrible work so that I can just bust through my little inner rut/boredom/depression about my art. And it’s working.

Yesterday, I had a very wonderful visitor come to my studio: Hendrik Stooker, the co-founder of the Arroyo Arts Collective and retired, senior curator at the Occidental College Art Gallery. It was the first time I have met him in person, and truly loved him right off the bat. I am sort of glad when he left though because I really could have talked to him all night long. He was also very encouraging and full of ideas about how I can sell more art, but I fear I disappointed him with my pessimism and general disinterest in selling anything. For the Discovery Tour however, I do plan on putting out my least expensive work, like small paintings and drawings. I’ll tack them all over the place for November 22nd like it’s some kind of last-chance bake sale. Honestly though, I think people on the tour will be looking for art on the cheap and I am probably not their greatest bet. But I am going to make my best effort and put out as much work under $400 as possible. I will even slash my prices on my books and a few other tidbits. Whatever it takes to help make the day successful.

Last 2nd Saturday went well. No sales of course, but a ton of people came through. All my cookies and veggies were gone before 8:00, and all my bottled water went to the bike-riding looky-loos. I will be skipping next month’s 2nd Saturday NELA artwalk so that I may focus all my prep and promotion to the Discover Tour.

Tomorrow I have a studio visit from my gallery director, Tressa Williams. She started at George Billis LA not too long ago and I will be meeting her in person for the first time as well. She is picking art for the Miami fair and I’m really nervous about not having any – or having to “sacrifice” some pieces set aside for my Houston show, but I have to think about number of eyes with checkbooks, and more of those will be in Miami than at my show in Houston. It’s a no brainer. She can take whatever she likes tomorrow (or today rather, it’s already 12:30 AM). I better git.