Thoughts

lifesaver

Ayin Es2 Comments

Who woulda thought this thing would save my life? ohhhh, but it does! This beautiful, wonderful, life-saving tool has become my new best friend. For this, I hereby love the Dutch, the good people who crafted this amazing apparatus. This tool is an awl guide that makes it possible to punch the holes along the binding of book signatures, magazines, and pamphlets — or a book like the one I am making right now.  It is simply a work of art that has made my life a whole lot easier. It’s the best 60 bucks I ever spent!

Yes, I am going to continue to talk about Horsebucket, the handmade book I’ve been working on. Why? Because my whole being has been wrapped around it. I have them on Presale for $79 until tomorrow, and then the holiday sale starts at $99.  I will begin sending them out by this weekend. I am still finishing them: still sewing, still typing.

Dad: May 31, 1927 – August 24, 2008

Ayin Es3 Comments

Maybe some of you are wondering where I’ve been, while some of you know about my father passing away a few weeks ago. So I’ve got nothing interesting, art-related, funny, compelling, or exciting to say on the blog right now. I can say, however, that my life has changed almost completely now that I have to take care of my mom (for the most part) and the fact that my brother and I were able to spend some intense time together with my dad in the weeks leading up to his death. We mended many wounds and bridges and I just feel lucky/blessed to have received that time, as most people are not so lucky. I know how lucky I am to be able to say goodbye and repair our conflicts and pain. Perhaps that kind of pain is easier to bear than the pain I’m feeling right now, but I would not trade fixing our differences for the world. That is all for now. Thanks for reading.

40

Ayin Es5 Comments

Well the other day I turned 40, and boy do I feel old! Not really. I kid you. I do feel different though. I feel better. I feel better to leave those pesky 30s behind me. What good are they? Except for confusing the hell out of us. I think I was freaked out for the entire decade. Panic attacks, worry, redefining myself… Exhausting! Today I feel sick and tired of that shit and I just am happy to begin the best part of my life. 40 is da shit I tell you! 40 crushes the little girlyman 30s and ignorant, glib-ass 20s. Poop on you hot, fresh youngins with your perfect bodies and bluetooths – being handed prestigious solo shows fresh out of art school. Ya’ll aint got nuthin on me, I’m 40! Four-oh! And I can kick, streeetch aaand kick! I’m forty years old! (Okay, maybe I can’t kick so well, but I can almost touch my toes.)

The only thing I still have to schlep around with me from my 30s are these 30 extra pounds. What is with that? I know that some of the weight comes from medications I have to take, but why should my laziness and indulgences in ice cream be so punishing? I remember ingesting nothing but candy, peanut butter and cigarettes throughout my 20s and never gaining so much as an ounce. In fact, I think I lost weight. And in my 30s, the pounds came at me slowly but shirley. Fuckin’ Shirley. She’s such a see-you-next-tuesday.All of my 30s I lamented my wondrous smoking, thinking that was my ticket to skinny. I considered taking it up again, but alas I probably would have just been a fat smoker opposed to the smelly, musty waif I once was. Oh how youth is wasted on the moronic young.

Okay I think I’m done ranting and raving about my pot belly. I need to go to my Spanish lesson and get ready for a special visitor that’s flying in on a 6pm flight from St Paul.

That white painting I’m working on is coming along, but I haven’t had as much time to work on it as I would have liked. Here it is, more than 3/4 done with the painting. It will need about 45-60 hours of sewing — at least. The mini garment patterns are in Hebrew. It says Stop apologizing for who you are.