Author: Ayin Es

I’m starting off with a little gem. This first one is hard! I’m realizing this is going to be rather cathartic, but I think it must be done.

This is a hand carved, hand-painted wooden trinket (2.75 x 2.5 x .75 inches) from Tibet sold for practically nothing at tourist trade, but you have to have been climbing the Trans Himalayas to get one. In 1994, a very good friend of mine was doing just that and she brought this back to me, after purchasing it from the locals when she was about half way up her 8000 meter climb. I lived with her for about a year, along with the rest of my band in a large house that resembled a boat in North Hollywood, California. She was one of our biggest supporters and we grew very close, and in fact she encouraged me to write more seriously and I wound up self-publishing my handmade zines, which in turn developed the beginnings of my mailing lists and caught me my first art collectors. I later trained her to sell my art and become my “agent.” We organized private parties and exhibited my work and did pretty good. About a year later she was hired by a very prominent commercial art agency to represent some of the best illustrators and photographers in the business. I think she is co-owner of the agency these days. I’m not sure because I don’t talk to her anymore. We had quite the falling out due to some other, rather complicated situations between a large group of mutual friends. I can’t say she is on my list of people I think highly about anymore, but there will always be a place in my heart for her because of the extraordinary times we shared.

When I look at this trinket, which has been sitting in a prominent place on my living room self, I have bittersweet feelings about it. I’m attached to it because it’s just cool. I think about how much I loved my friend, and I think about how she stabbed me in the back in the end. So, I think it’s a good thing to get it the hell out of my life and move on and let someone else dig it for it’s interesting look and the fact that it comes from Tibet, the fact that someone made it with their hands, and that they were selflessly willing to part with it for hardly any money. It seems fitting I should give it away for free.

The first person to come up with an appropriate name for this guy, gets it. Just leave it on a comment. Don’t forget to put your email in the email field.

Today I was sweeping my hairy floors. I have 2 dogs now. Only one of them sheds. And boy does he shed. Aside from that, there are roofers working on the roof and they are banging dirt and dust from the ceiling onto the floor and it’s just been dusty and dirty around here and for some reason that makes me nervous. Dust bunnies, hairballs, disarray, debris, chaos, disorganization, clutter, loud noises, and accumulation of too much stuff just drives me a little mad and today I just got to a sort of breaking point – all from sweeping and looking at it all. I realized, from moving all my things out of the way, I have too much stuff. It’s not junk or anything though, it’s all stuff I like and am attached to, but I don’t know how it’s got to this point already. I’ve only lived in this house a couple years and I’m already feeling weighed down. I got to thinking I should start going through everything and see if I could rid myself of most of it.

Then there are all these paintings I make. How do I keep from creating these things? I can’t. But one thing that has changed in the last year and a half is the time it takes me to make them. I am not making art at the same rate I used to, so in some small way, I am not cluttering up the earth as much as I used to, if I am looking at it in that regard (which I am!), and this makes me feel a little bit better about slowing down.

Cut to the chase, I had this stupid idea to start giving things away, one item at a time on my blog. It might be a book, a toy, art, a t-shirt, whatever. I’m pretty attached to everything, so each item will have some kind of story or description. Maybe someone reading will want it. I can get people to post comments this way. First comment gets the item – something like that? They just have to pay for the shipping. Maybe I’m biting off more than I can chew, but it could be an interesting experiment. Alas, it could take years to rid myself of my worldly possessions this way, but maybe when it comes time to move again, I’ll be able to pile everything I own into a small clown car and do it in one trip.

Carol Es

Visions, Dreams, Patterns and Memories

Slutzky Art Gallery

Merage Jewish Community Center of Orange County

1 Federation Way, Suite 200

Irvine, Ca. 92603 (949) 435-3400

March 1st – April 7th

Opening:

Sunday, March 7^th 2:00 PM – 5:00 PM

Growing up in the sweatshops of the L.A. apparel industry is the thread that flows through the stories in Carol Es’ work. She incorporate the tools of the cutting room trade with candid narratives, cartoons, shapes, abstractions, and dreams. Her work addresses female Jewish identity and family anecdotes by using garment materials and shapes to create Hebrew texts, characters and compositions that seem to truly resonate with viewers. For more information about the artist visit: https://www.esart.com

The JCC Slutzky Art Gallery‘s mission is to promote quality Jewish art and Jewish artists. Artists are selected because of their commitment to advancing Jewish life through the visual arts.

Since 2006 I’ve been carrying around a 5.5 x 3.5 inch moleskin notebook and my trusty space pen. What? You don’t know what a Space Pen is? I love my Space Pen because I can write upside down! I need to do that because most of my crazy ideas come to me when I am half-asleep while lying in bed. When this happens, it’s best not to move too much in order to keep these strange thoughts from falling out of my brain through my ears, so I stay on my back in bed and reach for my little notebook and spacepen and sketch out my little stupid thoughts above me in mid-air — like some kind of drug-induced, make-shift astronaut.

Recently, I started a new moleskin notebook for 2010 called “Welcome to 2010” and the first page reads:

This year you better
Build a paper drums set
& make a book or 2
Draw for 2 weeks straight
Lose weight
Go on a trip …
Learn to work a
Sewing machine
MAKE A FAMILY OF DOLLS
Sew Cloth OnTo Fabriano
Embroider a hospital gown
Make an art brochure
Finish Ethereal Research

Yesterday I meant to take a nap, but FedEx came and brought me my new Singer sewing machine and i spent hours figuring out how to thread it because I don’t know the first thing about it. If I was a REAL woman, I think I’d know how to do this stuff automatically, like cooking and putting on lipstick. I had fun figuring out my new toy, and it is all vintage looking too, see:

I also just ordered my first LINEN canvases! I have never worked with linen before. Isn’t that exciting? I bet you are just jumping up and down and pooping your pants right about now. I’ll let you know how it all goes. I have no idea how different it will be, but I’m very curious to see what is going to happen.