Art & Process

Transition

April 22, 2014April 22, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

I often have dreams about places I’ve lived, studios I’ve had. They are mixed up in my head and sort of blended together, and I’m usually moving in the dream. Sometimes I am in the middle of the two places, a lot of times Michael and I are splitting up. I suppose we dream about what we fear the most. Sometimes we are just separated because someone has to stay in one of the houses while in transition. Somebody has to stay and paint the new place, spackle the holes in the old place — something like that.

Anyway, all this cleaning out the studio, and thinking about how to fit everything in some future home had me thinking I guess – had me dreaming, and worrying – about transitions.

I am getting ready for my big trip and it is going to be all about transition. It’s actually starting to scare me a little. Sometimes when I’m scared of something, I look it up in the dictionary. Defining it usually takes the “heavy” significance out of it for me. It gives me a sense of control or something, but this time it more or less scared the shit out of me more!

tran·si·tion

[tran-zish–uh n, –sish-]
noun
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another;change: the transition from adolescence to adulthood.

Yup! That about sums it up! That’s what the plan is. That’s exactly what I was setting out to do.

So why would I get cold feet?

Okay, it’s not cold feet. Believe me, I am excited and I am so looking forward to it. I’m just a little scared. Mostly… curious.

I think I love that the word “passage” is in the definition. Yeah. I like it. Passage… Like I will come out of this a new artist, a new person. Hopefully, an improved one. But we’ll see. You know, that’s all about confidence? It really is. Because there’s no such thing as being a “good” artist. Not really.

In other news, I have a few pictures of how Monographie is looking. See?

They are not the greatest photos on Earth, but it’s a little peek for you. At least I’m giving you something! Jeez, stop complaining.

Here’s the front:

And the back. (Clever, eh?)

I think it’s looking pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty lovely. Don’t you think? Don’t you want one?

The inside is even better! (Horn tootin’!)

Making Space — The Impossible Task!

April 20, 2014April 20, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

I don’t know how much different this blog post is about to be from the post I just made on my Exodus Project Blog, but here goes.

I just finished cleaning and straightening up my studio, Rubber Soul. I have a studio visit tomorrow with a curator, plus it had been an utter mess for months.

I was even able to clean out my flat files and organize them. I can’t believe I got to those! People think I’m so organized already. Now I am! I’m pretty proud of myself, I must say. I was just throwing stuff in there willy-nilly, and thought I had a “system,” but it wasn’t quite working out. I think I needed to have an inoperative system for about six years before I knew how to make an operative one, if that makes sense. Ha ha ha!

Now it’s so fucking clean and organized and exactly right this time, I want to shout it to the heavens! (I get to excited about this stuff!) And hey, maybe this will work for other artists for all I know. Once I split things up this way, I was like, oh yeah, duh! So here are my drawers from top to bottom, and of course, many only pertain to me, specifically:

Surfaces – All the nice, clean paper I have yet to make art on. I even divided those up into big flat bags and marked them (#300 cold press Fabriano, etc.).
Wraps – Anything that will wrap a single sheet of paper/print for a buyer or to ship. Paper or clear envelopes, “stiffiners,” large envelopes, acid-free paper wrap, cardboard, etc.
Originals – Large original work on paper that’s too large to fit in any of my portfolio books.
Journal Project – All the original drawings from my Journal Project.
Cut Patterns – A bunch of patterns that I’ve already cut, plus all of the master patterns for future cuts. These are for both paintings, and the Journal Project.

Large Prints – Prints over 20 inches in either direction.
Artists’ Books – These are mostly the ones I pull out for display. I keep the “fresh” ones in boxes somewhere else.
Small Prints – I have a lot of these.
Portfolios – I keep all my portfolio books of works on paper in here, large and small.
OPP – Other people’s works on paper: originals, prints, and photographs.

Yeah, I love to organize. Can’t cha tell? If you can’t tell from the above, those are two different cabinets. I have a really big one, which is the top one, and a medium one, which is the bottom one. Come to think about it, I often wonder if my 2nd one is the smallest version of those Maylines. Not that it’s a Mayline, it’s some other brand. I’ll have to measure it sometime and figure it out.

But it doesn’t even flippin matter since it works for me. They both work for me and I really don’t know what I’d do without them. However, I don’t think I could ever afford – and I’m not even talking money – another one. I don’t have the real estate. I don’t even have the real estate for everything I have now!

I lose sleep at night thinking about how much art shit I have! How much art furniture and painting storage I have. It makes me nuts!!! It really does. If I ever had to move and I couldn’t have a two car garage with a little back extension (yeah – like where am I going to find that???), then I don’t know what I would do!

Then again, I can also consider it this way: Some artists need a studio space, and a 500 square foot studio is not very big at all. I would just have to figure out how to pay for it …again!

Organizing Thoughts

April 13, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

Today I was just barely skimming the surface of getting organized. I am so overwhelmed. I hate when things get to that point, when it’s past the point of even writing things down – simply because I haven’t had the time to stop to put a pen to paper just to jot anything down. That’s when you know your life is getting a little out of hand, right? Well, I’m at that point, so today I began to write some things down.

The first thing on the agenda were all the rewards from the Kickstarter campaign, namely because I can start working on some of those already. I also have to split them up into categories, like supplies I need, and which things I will be needing to take along with me to the desert. All of that still is not quite organized. I only have who gets what, how many of each, and in what order I am working on what. That took more time to put together than you’d think.

My studio has been a complete and total mess for well over a month because I haven’t been able to open the garage door for several weeks. There was a fence issue over here. It kinda sorta fell over and made it so the door wouldn’t open anymore. In the meantime, the gardeners were blowing leaves into my studio every other week underneath the door, and I also had a few shipments of art that came back from various places that needed to be unpacked and put away that I couldn’t get to.

I started on one of the packages right before the fence fiasco. I was right in the middle of unpacking more than 60 drawings that came back to me from Houston. I had to leave it there, half way undone all those weeks, barely covered up with leaves and dirt being blown in there. I almost couldn’t sleep at night.

Unpacking them made me think about a lot of stuff about my “creative process” since many of those drawings were done before 2007 – before I was on medication for being a mental case. I think I was a lot funnier back then. That might be so, but I was also a LOT more obsessive in terms of drawing. Hyper focused, and I don’t know if that was such a good thing. I preferred the little funny drawings over the obsessive ones.

I was able to dust about 1/5 of the studio today. That seems like a far cry from getting anywhere, but a few more days in there, while pacing myself, I’m sure I’ll get there. It needs to be ready by the morning of the 21st for a special studio visit.

And it Was Good!

April 12, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

Can you believe it? I can’t! I am out of my mind with happiness, excitement flabbergastion, butterflies, gratitude, and more gratitude!!!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

THANK YOU!

And guess what?

I just received a grant for $1000 from the National Arts and Disability Center to help me with the painting leg of my project for when I get back from the desert!

I am blessed all kinda ways!

So I’m going to get right to telling you what comes next. Why wait? I’m excited to reveal it all, aren’t you excited to hear it? We are all part of this thing now, so I figured you’d be interested.

This project officially starts RIGHT NOW! That’s right. The wheels and cogs have been a-turnin’ in my mind throughout the last 30 days during the campaign, and I can’t keep my ideas contained any longer! I want to get to work. I want to keep you abreast. I want you along for the ride.

Now, Kickstarter puts a little hold on the money before it doles it out, but since I have had an Amazon Payments Account for a long time, I think I may not have to wait as long. I will look into that. In the meantime, I will be begin working on everyone’s rewards as soon as humanly possible. Because of the nature of some of the rewards, some of you will be receiving certain ones before others, but don’t worry: ALL WILL BE FULFILLED!

Many of you will begin receiving messages from me about your preferences on some of your rewards, as certain ones, like the À la Dan Kabbalah letterpress prints, allow for the choice of a Hebrew letter. Other rewards will require you sending me an image of the nice person I’m doing a portrait of. Stuff like that. I will be getting to these things over the next week.

I also wanted to let you in on the project website I have been building at ExodusJoshuaTree.com. While it is still a work in progress, I finally have it up “live” so that there is a living “hub” for the project itself. You will also find the official blog on the site where I will be posting on frequently, and especially all the days throughout my stay in Joshua Tree, since the site is mainly for (or begins in) the FIRST leg of my entire project: An Exodus in Joshua Tree.

Also in the news, I will be going to Joshua Tree right away!!! That’s right, I do not waste any time, plus the best time to go is now in the spring while everything is blooming! If all goes as planned, I will be there as soon as the end of this month!

To some up for now, some of you might have noticed that I put up an F.A.Q. at the bottom of the project description – just hours before it ended. I did this because I had been questioned about the title the project a number of times (mostly in person) and would have to explain it all to people one at a time. I figured if people were asking me, then other people must be wondering, so now it’s in writing. So I’m including it in this message, for yucks.

Why did you call this project: “An Exodus in Joshua Tree” if you are going there?

Well, I didn’t foresee this title being complex to others’ ears on the day I created it. All I can say is that it made sense in my head in the moment, and here is why:

I feel that I am about to break out of the shackles of the kind of art-making that I had been doing for so many years.

Basically, over the last year, I’ve gained the tools I need. Now I’m going out from my studio, from Los Angeles, from my fears, from my crutches, my modus operandi, TO Joshua Tree, to wander the desert, to find my new home – within myself, within my art.

That is the exodus.

Thank you all for reading, and thank you ALL for everything!

Stay tuned, and visit the blog often at ExodusJoshuaTree.com/blog

The Home Stretch: 6 Days Left!

April 5, 2014Ayin EsLeave a comment

——-> AN EXODUS IN JOSHUA TREE <——–

Alrighty Folks! Here we are at the final home stretch of this thing.

I am so unbelievably delighted that we’ve come this far already. Really – I couldn’t be happier to have reached my goal — and then some! I will even be able to pay the Kickstarter Fees now! So a HUGE thanks to all that have contributed so far. Thank you.

This will be the second to the last update – as far as the fundraising campaign leg goes. I will be sending out one more in a week from today – Saturday morning. That update will have a good deal of information about what comes next, because, officially, that’s when my project will start.

Yeah, I know. I don’t waste any time! I like to dive right into things. It’s because I can’t wait to get to work!

In the meantime: I am not finished fundraising!

There are SIX MORE DAYS to contribute! So, it’s time for me to get annoying!

I want you to reach deep, s p r e a d the word, tell your friends and family, share, share share on your social media networks, and call the Pope!

Please help me make this Kickstarter like one of those crazy, world-famous ones that break the glass ceiling in the last moments of its existence. Let’s at least try.

In return, I promise you very unique rewards, and a very thought-provoking, engaging (and pretty) solo exhibition next spring at Shulamit Gallery.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Carol Es

AN EXODUS IN JOSHUA TREE