Back from the Dead

I know, it’s been forever since I have posted anything on the blog. My life has been chaotic and rather serious lately, since August really. Dad got sick and died, I moved my mother back out to LA, had a solo show, then I got sick, then my mother had an accident that she is still not recovered from, and a couple more deaths occurred. One being actress and collector Ann Savage, and the other being my very good friend Judith Hoffberg, a couple weeks ago.

Now I have a show going on at UCLA Hillel and the reception is on February 18th and I just got the postcards. I need to get on the horn and send them out, but I am inundated with my mother’s bills and moving her yet again from a nursing facility and into my brother’s house. It’s more work than it sounds like. During all this time I have hardly made much art, but am finally getting back into it in the form of soft sculpture. I was recently inspired by a couple of artists I was introduced to via the Saatchi website’s chatroom, which I just quit yesterday after being ensnared in my last upsetting dialogue there – over the holocaust of all things! There is quite a bit of anti-Semitism and holocaust denial in there that is just too painful to deal with for me. Not really worth my energy, so in many ways I was done a favor by getting upset enough to bow out. I met so many wonderful artists there however, and perhaps some new friends for life. It was a nice distraction from mourning my father’s death and being in an art rut, which is just an odd place to be.

Something I have learned while being in this rut is that I am searching for an entirely new motivation. I believe my whole life I had something to prove to my father in the work I was creating and now that’s he’s gone I no longer have this argument/dialogue, or chip on my shoulder to show him I am doing right by him. I only hope he recognized it somehow in the end and that I too will cut myself some slack and feel worthy of something in all my life’s work thus far.

I am currently working on a soft sculpture named Calvin (my father’s name) using his real trifocals. I need to fashion some kind of little hand gun to stick in his belt and I’ll be pretty much done and will post some images. In the meantime, here is the last thing I’ve done. Her name is Medina

front

 

back

lifesaver

Who woulda thought this thing would save my life? ohhhh, but it does! This beautiful, wonderful, life-saving tool has become my new best friend. For this, I hereby love the Dutch, the good people who crafted this amazing apparatus. This tool is an awl guide that makes it possible to punch the holes along the binding of book signatures, magazines, and pamphlets — or a book like the one I am making right now.  It is simply a work of art that has made my life a whole lot easier. It’s the best 60 bucks I ever spent!

Yes, I am going to continue to talk about Horsebucket, the handmade book I’ve been working on. Why? Because my whole being has been wrapped around it. I have them on Presale for $79 until tomorrow, and then the holiday sale starts at $99.  I will begin sending them out by this weekend. I am still finishing them: still sewing, still typing.

Dad: May 31, 1927 – August 24, 2008

Maybe some of you are wondering where I’ve been, while some of you know about my father passing away a few weeks ago. So I’ve got nothing interesting, art-related, funny, compelling, or exciting to say on the blog right now. I can say, however, that my life has changed almost completely now that I have to take care of my mom (for the most part) and the fact that my brother and I were able to spend some intense time together with my dad in the weeks leading up to his death. We mended many wounds and bridges and I just feel lucky/blessed to have received that time, as most people are not so lucky. I know how lucky I am to be able to say goodbye and repair our conflicts and pain. Perhaps that kind of pain is easier to bear than the pain I’m feeling right now, but I would not trade fixing our differences for the world. That is all for now. Thanks for reading.