Kickstarter Funded! — Almost Officially!

danbubble400

(Reposted from the Exodus Project Site)

We made it boys and girls!!!

Dan is even shouting most of the colors he can shout in! I think that means he’s happy. Well, I’m happy.

Today, thanks to Shula, the owner of Shulamit Gallery, we were able to push the funding over our goal. She pledged $2K because she rocks however!, not just thanks to her, but each and every contribution made so far! It’s just as difficult, if not more in some cases for others to pony up money — and do not think that eludes me, it does NOT! It was a LOT of work to get to that 67% mark!

But, I had no idea that I’d be coming back here less than a day later to make such an announcement, and we STILL have 14 days left to go!

Now I have to get to work. I have to write that 10 Commandments book, I have to find those old Joshua Tree postcards. I just have some work to do and I better start early, if I can, with no money in hand. We’ll see what I can get accomplished anyway.

Thank you, everyone! Thank you thank you thank you!

Sad, Frustrated, Angry, Horrified, Worried, and Freaked Out

My Aunt Susie is still hanging on! The doctor decided to try five radiation treatments since there were some other medications that seemed to be working somewhat when she was still in the hospital, in hopes it would make her more lucid, specifically about the children. There’s been a whole dilemma about the boys. Now, doctors at hospices do not usually “treat” their patients, but we have some extenuating circumstances here.

I wasn’t going to blog about this, but here I go. It’s one of those stories that no one would ever believe if it weren’t true, so I’m just going to start at the beginning.

My mother only had/has one sibling, my Aunt Susan. My dad was an orphan and the youngest – by far – in his family, and he was born before the Great Depression, so everyone is dead. My point? Susie was really “it.”

She had two kids, my two cousins, Allan and Lisa. I only have one sibling too, my brother Mike. Allan was a little older than Mike; Lisa was a little younger than I.

Allan became estranged from the family. No one knows why, but it’s been well over 20 years.

My aunt adopted one of Lisa’s children who is autistic. He is nine. Lisa and her husband could not take care of him.

They recently had another son a few months ago, but if you have been reading my blog posts, Lisa just died at the end of December, and her husband died a couple of weeks ago.

Susie has been taking care of the baby and the nine year old, even though she had been diagnosed with breast cancer last year and has recently gone through multiple rounds of chemotherapy, and she’s 70!

My brother and I were just out there (Tuscaloosa, Alabama) in November, before Lisa had the baby, and Susie was in remission, but the Wednesday before last, she collapsed. The cancer came back and mastisized all over her brain. The doctors gave her about a week to live.

On that same day, the Department of Human Resources took the boys and called me about where to place them. I gave them my brother’s contact info, but they never contacted him. They told me they were going to have an “emergency hearing” in less than 48 hours, and we were told that a family friend would go to this hearing and take the kids until we could figure out what to do.

But this family friend did not go to the hearing and the boys were placed in a long-term foster family. Now my brother is fighting to get custody. All of this because we could not act fast enough, and because we had no idea that this family friend didn’t go to the hearing.

The state of Alabama won’t do much because they say that we are five steps of kinship away from these kids and they only allow for four (how they figure it that way, I’m not sure. I thought I was a pretty good genealogist too.), otherwise they would work on an interstate guardianship right away. Instead, they are making my brother’s family go through an intensive home study, adoption process that could take up to eight months. Meanwhile, the kids are staying with strangers in a foster home. Our highly autistic nine year old cousin has to go to a completely different school, he is off his routine, and he has no family around. He just lost both his parents and is about to lose his Nana!

The little family I have left is a little bit sad, frustrated, angry, horrified, worried and freaked out.

From a Distance

So the past few days I’ve been on the fence – do I go to Tuscaloosa? Do I not?. I’m confused.

As it stands now, there’s quite a few people coming in to see my Aunt Susie at the hospice facility. It sounds like a wonderful place.

I don’t know, if you’re wondering why I haven’t been writing in my blog – especially since I have this great Kickstarter Campaign happening, it’s because I really don’t know what to say at the moment. It doesn’t mean I’m not excited about my project. I totally am! I’m just also dealing with this thing with my aunt too, and I don’t feel much like writing to anybody, if that makes sense.

You know when you just want to be alone with your thoughts? I’m usually so up for sharing mine, but just not right now. Not about what I’m feeling right now. Not tonight, in this moment.

Lately, I have been just diving, no, burying myself in tasks so I don’t have to think about it. I built this rock garden over the last week in my backyard:

rockgardenside

It looks better from above:

rockgarden

Don’t be too impressed. I had help:

gemmaoutback

But between you and me – and don’t tell her this – she really wasn’t much help at all. In fact, there were times she even managed to slow down the entire operation! The job took about a week. Good thing I wasn’t on it every day. It was just something I was doing to calm my nerves, and it super worked. I just don’t have the room in my yard to keep building rock gardens.

Whatever the case, when I was finished with this one, I felt very accomplished, even though I kept chipping away at this thing in my pajamas, so please excuse how frumpily floppy I appear here.

accomplished

I’ve also been building the ExodusJoshuaTree.com website, but I can’t show that to you yet. It’s pretty simple and straight forward, and really not much to it (now that I’m finally coding it), but it just took a long time to design it. I got picky, then not so picky, got some opinions, got a little sad, tried again, liked it better, started hating it, started over again, changed it a lot, then changed it a little, started seeing monkeys… You know. The usual.

So, I’m still tweaking it a little …I think.

My Kickstarter is 36% funded with about 25 days to go! Pretty good, eh? Although, I was getting pledges like mad the first couple days, and now, none the last couple days. NONE! Not even a pledge for a postcard. What’s up? What do I need to do?

First of all, I probably need to post MUCH better pictures of myself. Okay, okay, I will! I promise! I will look around for some and I will find some fashion shots that will blow your socks off. Will that do it? I’ll try it.

 

 

Almost Didn’t

I almost didn’t launch my Kickstarter last night. I was actually fixin’ to launch earlier in the day.

I went out to lunch with Ellie Blankfort. Always filled with such joy and learning for me when I see her. What can you say about a friend that leaves you feeling more and more healed every time?

When I got home, there were a bunch of messages on my voice mail – never a good sign since I usually have none. And they all came from Alabama where my Aunt Susie lives. My Aunt Susie, whom, last I checked, was in full remission after five rounds of chemo for stage 4 breast cancer. It was some kind of miracle.

susie

I’ve probably mentioned this story about how my brother and I went out to see her days after we received this news and, what we thought was going to be a trip of “goodbyes,” wound up being a trip about celebration. We were able to see her and my cousin Lisa – eight and a half months pregnant – her husband, and my little 2nd cousin Damon.

But not just six weeks after we left, Lisa overdosed and died, leaving her brand new baby boy, Samuel, her other son, Damon, her husband Tim, and my aunt (her mother), Susie, all in wake – not to mention my brother and I. It was a shock. Then again, it wasn’t.

Yesterday, the messages I received were even worse. Susie is in the hospital. The cancer has spread to her brain. No longer able to respond,  I am the one to decide on life support. Also, the boys are in Child Protective Services and there is going to be a 72 hour hearing about their placement on Friday at 10:am. The kids will either be going to their other grandparents, or my brother’s family – and who can make a decision like this under such time constraints?! But a decision needs to be made or else they are going into foster care.

On top of that, I find out that Tim died last Thursday. No one knows how exactly, but we can all only guess.

By the time the night came, exhausted from crying and making about 1000 phone calls, I just pushed the “launch” button. Susie wouldn’t want me to hold up my work, and for who knows how long this can all drag on? The work was already done. The button just needed to be pressed and I can go back to making all my phone calls. Maybe it’s inappropriate, but I need the distraction in all honesty. She is the last of my immediate relatives (besides my brother).

So this morning we are moving her to a hospice facility. She will be gone any day, any time, any moment. She has an older granddaughter that keeps coming to see her, but she says Susie is just sleeping peacefully, and there is no way my brother, nor I, can make it out to Tuscaloosa now. All I can do is place others around her and hope she knows I am putting all her interests in place.

The Kickstarter Campaign Has Begun!

campaign

I’ve done it! I have finally launched, my long-awaited Kickstarter campaign:

An Exodus in Joshua Tree – and – it is what it is.

It is not the greatest video on Earth, and in fact, it’s pretty crappy, but, I had a LOT of problems, like not being able to use my good camera (it’s broken), and just a whole bunch of other roadblocks in general, PLUS the fact that I don’t know how to make videos! I’m also obviously not a very good public speaker. It was really hard to put myself out there and you can hear every little vulnerability in my voice. I hate that I am so easily read sometimes. But… it is what it is.

Well, maybe now that it’s out there, everything I’ve been going on about will make a little more sense? I was going to have a bigger lead-up to this, like make it more like a story that would keep everyone on the edge of their seats, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to get this thing launched already. It’s not like I am submitting something for the Oscars, it’s just something to make people understand what my idea for this exhibition is. I hope I at least did that  successfully.

PLEASE, pass it around. Fingers crossed. We’ll see what happens.

page10